For These Times
  • Home Page
  • Writings Past and Present
  • The Cohanan (dad)
  • Relating Upwards
  • Picture Archive
  • Video Links
  • About This Site
  • Materials
  • Contact

Strolling with Linda

7/24/2014

2 Comments

 
185.  Past



Strolling with Linda



Picture
2 Comments

Whatever I had

7/24/2014

2 Comments

 
184.  Past




Personal


Whatever I had  

  
I realize I could never have risked being too vulnerable when training as an artist.  My upbringing made no sense. It was as if a black hole was beneath me and I could sink at any minute.  There was little peace.  So I uplifted myself, unconsciously grabbed some safe achievements and won an art contest and received recognition.  For a brief time it offered some importance, covering up a sea of indifference and lack of understanding that I received during my development.

When I realized I needed a foundation in art, and I tried to obtain this, I found out all the training offered was insufficient.  Yet I could have tried to make the most of it but from my situation I couldn't.  I was not able to give up a sense of specialness.  Without this I felt I had nothing.  To train and evolve in a certain system would be a letdown, because it could not live up to my expectations.  I was stained.  So I was not able to fully invest myself into the training.  Couldn't risk it or fully stick with it.  All I could do was grab a little here and there.

Later, when I lost everything, I became invisible.  Not in touch with family, I supported myself anyway I could. I traveled as a man alone and tried to nurture myself without any backup.  I waited to see what would emerge.

Then, with whatever training and practice I had garnered from my past, I attempted to make a statement.  Some skills from the past were semi-developed, not as much as I would have liked, but I used whatever I had for the final statement of my life.






2 Comments

Awakening

7/24/2014

0 Comments

 
i83.  Past

Spiritual living

Awakening    

Each time we awake from a sleep it is as if we see and are aware for the first time.  When we are awake during the day and we suddenly become aware of the light of the maker again it is fresh and as if for the first time.  No memory carries over.  Time and time again as when we are awakened from sleep we are awakened from life.




0 Comments

Final flourishing shortened

7/24/2014

5 Comments

 
182.  Past

Personal

Final flourishing shortened

A few years ago I had a hernia and to me it marked the beginning of the end.  I have learned to live with it, make the best with it and function with it.  Aside from having a tooth pulled years ago, this seemed like the first distortion of my body.

These next ten years would seem to be the last years that I would be able to celebrate my body, work on it, delight in it, and take pride in it.  Given some spare time thrown its way I could even become proud of it and enjoy it.  I was never that sensual when younger.  Now I could have finally filled out and felt virile, or at least taste what it’s like to do so.  At the very least if I wanted to I could, it was an option.

The hernia is a bulge below my abdomen and it mars by body.  All that's mentioned above becomes compromised.  My final flourishing was cut short.




5 Comments

Stings still hurt

7/15/2014

4 Comments

 
181.  Past

Principles 

Age


Stings still hurt

One would think experience, perspective and smoother edges would shield one from being affected by slights and insults.  Not true.  If you have to work as an older person in these times you understand what I mean.  You might deal with 100 people that are decent enough, but if two are rude and insulting it can really sting.  Just ask an older security guard at a gatehouse, or an older salesperson at Macy’s.  Unless they have dulled themselves, the slights hurt more than ever.  Your patience is thinner, your health is vulnerable, and being insulted and/or demeaned is hard to take.  Your dignity is violated.  One can try to stay calm, to breathe deeply, protect oneself with a light or meditation or detach yourself from the experience, but no matter what you do, it still hurts.  Old wounds don’t heal so easily.  A few times when treated so, I was up all night.  I knew better. I knew all the right things to tell myself and to do, but chamomile tea and soft candle lights still were no match.  The sting just had to heal with time. 




4 Comments

Strengths

7/15/2014

0 Comments

 
180.  Past




Principles




Living

Strengths  

Certain strengths come from following a good cause. Then the good cause disappears.
A lesser cause appears.  Should the strength be used for this lesser cause or should it be put on hold?

0 Comments

A final effort

7/15/2014

0 Comments

 
179.  Past




Introduction




A final effort 

So this is it.  The final outpouring.  The final effort. The final push.  I'll be writing about what one needs to know to live.  The essentials of existence are dealt with.  The present will be looked at including observations that I have made while going through this life.  The past will be scrutinized, including things tried, things experienced, and how they appeared to me at the time.  Finally, there is today and the future.  I will be dealing with where we are at, where we are going, and reaching inside ourselves and outside ourselves to touch another realm.

A lifetime has gone into these writings.  No easy steps were taken.  What has emerged is what needs to be said.  It is the message for the times, a new angle for life today.  Why me? Well why not?  Most of what we hear is rehash.  This isn't.  I've put myself out there with no safety nets.  What I have to say is authentic and I'm reaching out to others who yearn for the same things.



0 Comments

What your mama made you

7/15/2014

0 Comments

 
178.  Past




Principles

Family


What your mama made you

I recall having a conversation with a woman named Caroline and saying “You are what your momma made you.”  True, that is your substance and the material you have to work with.

0 Comments

Natural and unnatural learning

7/5/2014

1 Comment

 






177.  Past

Principles

Learning and Understanding

Natural and unnatural learning    

When younger, if not thwarted, one can enjoy learning.  A bright uncle I had said he would go to the library and read all the books in the library, starting at one end of a shelf and finishing at the other end and then again.  Later Uncle Albert had stomach troubles, surgery, and afterwards he would arrive at one location during a visit and leave right away for the next.  He had become impatient, always ‘on to the next thing.’

Common knowledge says a healthy mind wants to suck up all the knowledge there is.  This all takes energy, however, and effort, and time.  Later, all this learning can hurt the brain.  I recall a man who prided himself on all he knew about auto parts.  He worked at an auto part store and the new information kept on piling in.  His brain became "fried," as he put it.  He literally had hurt his brain by learning too much.

As one ages, it becomes apparent that one has to put the brakes on learning.  It is better to know just what you need to know.  Too much absorbed knowledge uses up your vitality. If, as a young person, you had learned in a natural, unforced way you probably could still absorb some knowledge without self-damage.  If, on the other hand, you were pressured and learned out of fear or ego your brain almost fights the very act.  Perhaps Alzheimer exemplifies this in the sense the mind returns to a childlike state and refuses to absorb any more information.




1 Comment

Why?

7/5/2014

4 Comments

 


176.  Past

Reasons for this writing

Why?
I have to find out if this is all true - my belief in the maker.

I have to find out if my idea, or an idea, that seems correct, can expand despite advancing age, lack of energy and various personal obstacles that existed and still exist.

I also have to find out if an entire life can lead to a point, this point....whether every decision and realization have a culmination in what I am doing...or is this all just a vanity or an illusion.

These are questions I need answers to. Writing is part of this culmination and if successful hints that everything done had a reason.




4 Comments
<<Previous

    Steven B. Nussdorf records his lifelong search to find meaning outside of the normal channels.  He  uses writing, poetry, and drawing to document this effort.

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

    Archives

    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013


    All
    Age Aging
    Aging
    Appeals
    Approach To Writing
    Art
    Belief
    Belief And Doubt
    Change
    Community
    Contradiction
    Culmination
    Dad
    Dad's Passing
    Death
    Dreams
    Economics
    Entropy
    Environment
    Family
    Florida
    Friends And Acquaintances
    God
    Golden Mean
    Health
    Help
    Intro
    Lamentations
    Law Of Reconciliation
    Leading
    Learning
    Life
    Living
    Man/woman
    Meditation
    Memory
    Metaphysics
    Mom
    Nature
    New York
    Observations
    Parents
    Patterns
    Personal
    Philosophy
    Play
    Prayer
    Premise
    Principles
    Prophecy
    Prupose
    Psychology
    Purity
    Reaching Out
    Realms
    Reason
    Reconciliation Law
    Relating
    Religion
    Right And Wrong
    Ritual
    Spirit
    Spiritual Living
    Stands
    Statement
    Systems
    Takes
    Talmud
    The
    Theology
    Theory Of Compensation
    Thinking
    Truth
    Understanding
    Universe
    Vectors And Forces
    Vignettes
    Voids
    Who For
    Wisdom
    Word
    Work

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.