Writings Past and Present - For These Times

To be king

5/20/2015

321. Past

Principles

Man/Woman

Man

To be king

A well-known black comedian, who was a regular on Saturday night live, transformed himself from a hippie comedian to “the man.” There is something about being the “man.” It seems irresistible today for men to present themselves as the “man.” No matter the political outlook, or status, the temptation is to be king, sought after, worshiped, slick, cool, in charge, like a “Mr. James Bond incorporated.”

Separation

5/20/2015

320.

Spiritual Living

Separation

Is this why the Jews stopped speaking to God as a people? As a people the more you live and survive the more you are distanced from the maker. As a person it seems so too. It appears at some point we are not here to join with the maker. We can for a time act as if we are together but at some point we have to settle in here on earth and absorb our separation. We are not able to stay too close for too long. Something must have gone wrong in the past to have created this distance but it is here. This leaves one having to accept their separateness and it is not always pleasant or easy.

What I see

5/20/2015

319.

Observations

From what I've observed, it seems as if so many people today crave to be loved, and to be somewhat significant, important and needed. This is just not being met.

Some care shown to mom

5/20/2015

318. Past

Family

Mom

Some care shown to mom

When I visited mom and dad I saw mom’s feet. They were horribly swollen as were her legs and knees. She was on different medications, each one conflicting with the other. The doctors were not coordinated. She was also having trouble sleeping, getting maybe 2 hours per night.

During my five day stay each day I would spend 30 minutes massaging her feet. She told me at night they would suddenly constrict and tighten and wake her up violently. I worked on them, using manipulation, pressure points, muscle massage and instincts to relax the pressure. I knew this was a symptom, not a cause but maybe loosening the area would allow her to sleep. For five nights she slept around five hours per night. I think one night she had difficulty, and that may be because I didn't work on her that day. My father had taken her to numerous doctors about her sleep problem. What I did was a solution. Real effort, and time, and care, and energy were required. No doctors or anyone else were willing to do this.

I think for three mornings we exercised for 20 minutes and that helped her. On her own, she didn't continue the exercises. My dad didn't massage her feet, nor did he pay someone to do it. I didn't and couldn't stay. Continuing my life, and not stopping it while in motion, was the choice I made. This choice I made haunts me a bit. My mom said there is a price for everything. How true. But at least for four to five days I showed my mom care and love and sacrifice.

Worse fears

5/20/2015

317. Past

Personal

Worse fears

I was going for my firearm registration (revolver). We had to pass a written test and a shooting test. It was a long stint, not hard, but you had to be into it. Michelle, the wife of the instructor, yelled at me for taking my revolver out of the holster. She shrieked. This reaction was uncalled for.

Later, it brought to mind some of my deepest innate fears, that of feeling hurt and overwhelmed before groups of men being bullies, and being ridiculed and made fun of. I imagined a modern prison scenario; your worst nightmare. There was no protection, no parents or others to shield you, and you were at their mercy, facing alone the cruelties of men.

Another brief on the Golden Mean

5/7/2015

316. Past

Universe

Another brief on the Golden Mean

When observing nature a snail shell conforms to the Golden Mean. On a bigger scale so does a hurricane. On the macro scale of the universe, a galaxy such as ours the Milky Way, has its proportions. Perhaps it’s the form of movement itself, as when a gas moves through air, or any dense material moves through a less dense mass. Expounding on this, maybe the universe takes on this form when it moves through space. The inherent gravity in energy and matter, plus possible outside gravitational pulls, shapes the moving mass into this form. Way back when, perhaps time itself coming out of timelessness somehow conformed to the Golden mean, one dimension breaking through into another again being shaped harmonically.

Back to earth, for decades now Nautilus equipment has been used for weight training, supposedly closer to the natural motions and rotations of the body.

So, as stated, it's a key element I have found in how existence works. I've mentioned what has occurred to me, and am humbled by what hasn't. Deeper, all encompassing mysteries and implications must exist for others to discover perhaps beyond my scope.

You need the world

5/7/2015

315.

Principles

metaphysics

You need the world

It's possible you looked forever and found the one realization you were after. You didn’t know it, but it appeared. You have found with time you have to be humble about it. The one big and all consuming realization took over your life and your body and mind began to serve it.

But time entered the equation, or really never left but just became apparent. Time was the world and all its variances and subtleties. You thought you could block out the world and be fixated upon your realization. A transformation took place. What you protected yourself from you began to let in. Each particular experience in the world you once again befriended and these morsels of life filled up your insides and became food for your being. They were no longer the enemy or even a distraction. They became a help.

What had occurred is that your realization was no longer enough by itself. The crystallized form and wrapping it came in was just too one dimensional. Your needs and insides began to dry up. This lacking eventually turned to hurt which forced you out of your own skin.

So again you turned to the world and reopened it. Each sense and piece of worldly wisdom and how to do things and what other people said, both historically and in the now served to awaken little pieces of you. Experience became an ally and began to enrich. The once all encompassing realization was stripped of all its clamor and what remained of it humbly watched from a distance somewhere in the background. What you came to see is that every experience, thought and process of the world pointed in its direction in some way and for a minute you understood a grander design that lifted you above the hurt.

Train ride

5/7/2015

314.

Principles

Aging

Train ride

Sometimes aging is like a train. Who you think you are, your personhood, your individuality, is less important than what stop you are at.

Talk at Kevro's one

5/7/2015

313. Past

Talk at Kevro's one

Talk at Kevro's one (Text for pic)

5/7/2015

312. Past

Talk at Kevro's one

An intense, brief conversation at Kevro’s Art Bar with Kevro, his friend/client, and myself about reaching out because of isolation, about finding a commonality versus individual perception, and about relativism versus absolutism. Kevro’s friend had stated that “all is relative,” and I stated if that is absolutely true, then that statement is an absolute and therefore everything can’t be relative.

Kevro gave an ah hah, his friend showed interest, and we then decided to look at his new painting on string theory.