699.

Principles

Living

From pain to calm

When all is said and done I still think you have to be close to your pain, your dilemma. You shouldn't seek it out but accept it if it's present. That can be your guide, else you're in no man's land. It's a mystery why this seems to be so. If you fly too high or veer too much it can be precarious. It's not the only way to approach life but it is definitely a way.

Then, when the pain is seen for what it is, and numerous pressures and burdens have to be faced, at times overwhelming, one should ease their way through, as if in slow motion. Even during a crisis the movement is almost in slow motion. It's not jerky or as sudden as we think. Things don't hit you all at once. Even if it seems that way there is still space between the edges.

In this way we can ease our way from the pain through the obstacles. Each one doesn't have to be focused on but moved through. We can keep some balance and equilibrium. The edges become smoother and the movement becomes the important thing. We can maintain some calmness if we just see the space between the hardness. We don't try to overcome time and beat it but work around and with it and as said easing forward.

698.  Past

Principles

Health

Natural versus your life  

The ideal healthwise is to get to the point where your body can heal itself.  This has been my goal.  Many on medications have long lost sight of this or never had it as a goal.  Their premise was to just continue what they were doing and occasionally be fixed by the doctor.  The downside is that they don't die a natural death.

On the other hand those of us who have tried to do it on our own often still fall short.  The transformation to a self regulating system and harmony in our bodies has never really happened.  We are better for all the efforts, but still have flaws in our health.

Why?  It is possible we were naturally weak from the start but kept alive.  More likely medicines' effects, the environment's pollution, foods, air, unnecessary operations, bad dental work, vaccines, and on and on, all provide a huge mountain to climb. To get through this naturally one would have to give up everything one does and just try to heal.  Some of us have tried this to varying degrees.  Unfortunately, the transformation hasn't come about.  Worse, for some, sickness still prevails.  The initial synthetic interventions with your health left their mark and can be hard to overcome.

So giving up everything for a healthy transformation might not work.  Given such a scenario, it might make sense, for some, to continue your life as is.  Keep your path going and actions going and not letting health, even natural health, dictate the rest of your life. You might not be able to turn it around. If your life has value, it might be best to just continue it.

True, your end might be no different than anyone elses.  You still might end up in the hospital. Such a fate could be beyond our control.  In the meantime taking care of our shell and package as best we can with whatever knowledge of alternative means available has value.  It just might not be able to save us. Plus it might not be the most important thing in life after all.  It is one realm but not the only one nor necessarily the most important.

697.  Past

Principles
Living

Classes

The holiday morning began so scattered for me.  Saw a friend the day before, but this day was a home day.  Many things to do.  An internal conflict erupted in my art.  There was sorting of old belongings to do.  Health drinks had to be made.  Bathroom readiness to be done which has increased with the years.  Meditation, writing, listening, and distractions all needed some time.  Trying to use a manual air tire pump for my bike didn't work the first time.  Time for another try.  Is a ride to Publix really warranted for a treat or is that a waste of time?  Some emails, maybe call two old friends to keep links alive, and would be good to get some sun as I'm pale. A lot to do.

None of this is inspiring.  I'd rather run away.  Plus, inner spiritual needs pull from inside, demanding resolution, or at least attention.  What to do?

I know once I start to do things one thing leads to another.  I can approach it like classes, each activity given some time, and some might even catch my attention.  Given a total vision for the day is not there, this makes some sense.  I got through many days at school not inspired.  Why not do that here?  At least some things will get done.  But first I'll have my third cup of tea, after I decide what kind.

696.  Past

(Note:  No need to call 911.  A number of years ago just hit a tough moment and wrote a prayer about it.  Biblical David did that many times.  It was where I was at and honest.  I also think there is a power to this prayer.)

Sputtering Appeals

God, so afraid in this life.
Can't keep track of all the things I fear.
Am I on my own here?  Is it all on my shoulders?
If I'm supposed to hold my own, then going to you won’t directly help.
Still, can't face it alone.  Too hard.
Maybe there is some angle you can help me with.  I don't know.
I think of a zebra killed by a lion.  I think of death. 
My thoughts stray.
I think of all the things I have to do.
Overwhelming.
So I go to you.  Cry to you.
That's all I know.
I’m very tired of it all.
If things can't change for the better I almost don't want to believe.
All this I feel in my insides.
All the unresolved issues in my life weigh upon me.
It’s hard to go on God.