683.

Spiritual living

The next step

I think some issues of the spirit take prominence when all else is found wanting.   You've tried everything practical, everything social, everything material, and still its not enough.  It's all been exhausted.  Various science of mind paradigms, disciplines, warrior codes just work for a while, then fall apart.  Pleasure fades too fast.  All that's left is the next step because there is no place else to go.

So giving the light a chance to enter, a presence, a God, the God, and relating to it is what's left.  It has to be explored too.  As said, it's the next step.  It will all come short too.  You'll be disappointed eventually.  But still, it's where you have to go.

Sanity, realism, soberness, all just goes so far.  One has to leapfrog to these other levels.  And they too don't stick.  But where else is there to go?  You can't stay still or go backwards.  Somehow you have to settle in to this spiritual realm.

682.

Principles

Nature

The Lion  

On Facebook one can view some animal or nature footage that one might never see during their life.  This short video showed a male lion, mane wild and strong, face primitive but present, relaxing during an orange sunset that met the vast flat plain in the background. 

The elements were there; the sky, the land, and the lion, the latter being a combination of elements with a touch of life.  Thought did not insert itself into this image.  Rather it was the elements that ruled and the lion was one of them.  The sky, the sun, the land, the color and a piece of life, all raw in its essence.  The lion with life capping off the show.

I suppose this is our gift, to be able to observe and note this one time occurrence, the miracle of it.  It will never be again, and we saw it.'s proud grandeur, despite the fact that it's fleeting.

We are left awestruck and appreciative. To witness this one time thing.  We are silenced before it's magnitude.  We are observers and at the same time participants and our hearts are relieved and thankful.

681.  Past

Theology


Is God contradictory?    

I was sitting in the chair, kind of dazed by the turn of events.  Dad, 98, in rehab for pins put in his hip, contracted pneumonia and now needs a heavy dose of antibiotics.  Looking out the cloudy window, I briefly felt the peace of God's light which overrides everything.

Then I thought of the times I wanted specific things or of specific requests.  What if I wanted this or that for dad?  What if  I wanted this project or this thing or this involvement to work out?  This was part of the world.  No joke.  Things had to be found out, worked through and resolved.  However, it was definitely a different energy then I felt when feeling God's light and peace.

I recall Marcion around 2000 years ago who claimed the Torah's God was a lesser God then the God of the New Testament.  In a sense the former was a God of things.  Much of the negative attitude towards the Jews came from his thinking.  He himself was not necessarily anti-Jewish from what I've read.  He just wanted to make a distinction.  Later his name became used by others for anti-Jewish sentiment.

Then I thought all the mystery and local religions always had lesser Gods to handle lesser things, such as  the weather or the crops or love.  Deep down inside us still was the knowledge of an overall God.

Boiling it down to what one observes as I'm drawn to do, isn't this just the point of it all.  We want things.  I don't want my father to go, we appeal and ask for what we want, we struggle forcing matter and energy to heed our will, all along while the peace of God remains steady and throughout.  Lesser needs kind of have a God of their own all the while the overall God harmonizes the whole thing.

680.  Past

Principles

Change

This morning I felt like this. 

While still in bed my body heated up as if filled with a clear light.  It was in me and around me.  It was as if little beings danced around my body and words "these dead forms can live" played to my ears.  I realized whether imagined, or even deluded, an idea  that takes  a form can redeem.  What has become petrified can be given life from above.  If you try to revive and change it yourself you are just changing forms but not changing.  Your imbalance, like electricity, will still carry through.  Rather it's best to keep doing what you are doing  and emerge from that.  You're in the world, doing a particular thing, so let what has become lifeless become full of  light and life.  In this way the hopeless becomes hopeful.  What seems dead takes on life. It is as if I heard this and it stands on its own.

679.

Spiritual


Dream III    

I saw the gates open
and floods of light
poured over our beings.

678.

Principles

Death and dying

Anger and dying

My dad passed earlier this year and my mom about 8 years ago.  On all levels a multiude of observations and reactions have hit me.  One concerns anger and hostility during the last period of life itself. Outbursts and unpleasantries to say the least were verbalized by both parents.  Even physical expressions of rage were observed.  Of course other emotions were experienced and were part of the whole scenerio, but moments of hositlity emanating from my parents definetly had their place.  Why so?

The medical people, not without reason, saw such outbursts as symptons to be subdued and repressed, whether with physical restraint or through medications. The cause was not fully discussed nor understand by me.  Perhaps the chemistry of the brain does get altered or is deprived of oxygen for brief periods of time.  Still, why such periods of acting out?  On the other hand, all emotions were experienced, docility and passivity too.

I suspect the reason for rage has some roots in reality.  There is anger over how one is dying versus how one should die.  In each person's mind there is an ideal way to die, in one's bed surrounded by the familiar and a general consensus between mind and body and spirit from within that it is time to go.  One wants to reach that point.  Medications have altered this reality. They have prolonged life but also shortchanged the chance to have a natural end.  When one realizes this it is too late. What is being done to you is against your will consciously or unconscioulsy and your protests go unnoticed. You might not even know what you want, but you want something more. Hence, the anger.

You want to change things but are trapped, and your protests are seen as rebellion and symptomatic.  To some extent you are a prisoner within the system you have participated in.  You see the trap and can't do anything to change it.  In bursts of anger you break through the medications and protest  Inside your being knows something is wrong, and it implusively flairs up in rebellion.

While this is not an exlsusive reason, I think there is truth to it.

677.  Past

Vignettes

Being mush  

I was talking to Dave, a man who did my scanning, as I often did in those days, about my stay in Laughlin, Nevada, located 100 miles near Las Vegas, Nevada.  I had been out West for 5 years, traveling in a Toyota Chinook, learning the ins and outs of living out there.  Wintering in Laughlin made sense. It was warmer, had places to park your RV, and there was work.  It was also corrupt as hell, but that's another subject.

Figuring I would winter there, some work made sense.  Security seemed an avenue to try.  You held some authority and it was not physically tiring.  I went for an interview.  What stands out in my memory was standing around in a circle with men and women and being asked questions and then being asked to dance.  Basically they wanted to see if we were pliable, malleable, and bendable.   Men trying to be men need not apply.  For the low pay and the getting demeaned they wanted you to smile and take it.  At the time, building my sense of self and integrity, I couldn't do it.  Being mush didn't fit.