Life and living
'Being' doesn't always work
Just being hasn't fully worked. I end up being drawn into people, chores, habits and the winds of chance. Lower activities draw me in. Too much time ends up spent on too little substance. Even nature and its dance can't keep me safe. Waiting for truth to emerge from this arbitrary potpourri is beyond my faith. With no plan I'm subject to others' plans. Yes, there is value in just being and seeing what happens, but what if this leads to ambiguity?
Definition is needed. The vision that I thought was too big and too grandiose has returned. It could be the only door that is open. It's about a new concept, almost a new religion. It's as if I hear it from above, What we need now I'll write about. There is a place for painting here, for quick sketches with color that help illustrate key points, all housed in some special setting. It is a statement of conviction standing up to all that wants to water me down and make life meaningless. It allows for me to use whatever tools I have at whatever level they are at.
Just 'being' has faded away. A moderate middle ground has not appeared. I prepare myself and my environment to achieve this two part plan that has emerged once again. It is a way of marking time with purpose and structure in a 'good' direction. I'll move forward into this.
I hope I am not wrong. I hope this is meant to be. I hope it is blessed.