Relating to God
Monday with no computer
One Monday morning I found myself with no computer. It had a virus. Who knows how it would turn out? I felt no presence from the above, or nourishment or relief. I was full of resentment and fear. Bigger doubts plagued me; aging, the future, and no back up from family. And, after all these years, I was disappointed in my inability to overcome them. I can't even leave society, or pull away from the city. That doesn't work. Also didn’t see a way to disentangle myself. I didn’t see a way or a way to get out. God couldn’t answer me. The answer would be too coarse.
Finally I brought myself to meditate. I said I needed God to find way out. I can't do it. Don't know how. Just don't know way out from all these traps and dilemmas. Am I meant to just sit here and fade in my own traps?