Leading
(This writing is part of 11 reasons I offer why one might be led to consider the possibility that there is a 'maker, an above.' Why one is led in that direction is a fair question.)
(True) Meditation
5) Meditation can be useful. The theory is to become detached from your thinking and emotions. By not reacting to them you create a void. Most meditations miss this and are more similar to a psychic massage that smooths and pacifies the person. The trouble here is that you still are perfecting yourself, making yourself better in a sense. You are “willing” yourself to relax, to be calm, to be balanced. You can end up a transcendent being, a perfected being, but this is still limited because your intent is limited.
A truer intent is a humble approach, one where you come to recognize the helplessness of your condition, a condition arrived at through actions and beliefs whose sum total leads to nowhere. You can only sit still because you are not sure what to do and you wait for something, anything to make sense. You become detached in a true way, a way that doesn’t fully trust any thought, action, deed, or meaning that you encounter. It all might be programming, subtle and self-initiated. So all you can do is stay still and wait, for what exactly, you are not sure. Whatever it is, it has to stand apart from previous experiences. By doing so, you are not initiating something to happen. You are just being nothing and in a state of helplessness.
Eventually something might click. A light might sparkle in the darkness of your mind. It might be a point, and then a pattern. An inner vibration might radiate from within you. Your hands might tingle as this vibration seeks exit, and your body might rock back and forth. This is not from your doing. This is from a force beyond you that’s within you. It is a real experience. You are touched by something more, most probably for the first time in your life.
Later, after holding onto this, you realize this was a link to the above. It wasn’t done with words or knowledge. It was a true awakening. And so from here on in you seek out the author of this experience. You want to know more and eventually are led to more.