Writings Past and Present - For These Times

Qualifications

10/20/2015

386. Past

Reason

Qualifications

I have managed to remain detached all these years. My religious affiliations, my work, have nothing to do with my observations and conclusions. Therefore personal gain or security is not a motivation. Only finding out what makes sense is.

Value

8/31/2015

366. Past

Reason

Value

As time goes on words become less satisfying. One has heard it all. What’s left is the meeting of one’s needs, and the maintaining of one’s comfort level.

Previously I felt a need to put every feeling, thought, observation down on paper and in doing so connect with others who experience the same. Now that need has almost become something I wonder about.

As life goes on with its increasing heartaches and wear and tear, one wonders what to say anymore and who will listen. Nevertheless, albeit with doubt and reservations, I will put down my thinking. When all is said and done, it still might have some value, maybe a lot of value.

Worthy questions

7/26/2015

349. Past

Reason for writing

Worthy questions

I have to find out if there is such a thing as a calling. Is it just primitive thinking, evangelical nonsense, or can it really exist today? Does the sum total of this and the previous 2 centuries allow for such a thing? If so, does it apply to me?

Is there a resolution to my life? Do my struggles lead to an answer and does this answer mean something? Is the storyline describing this process really count, or am I just reading into reality?

My dad once said all different experiences add up and combine to a certain outcome.

My art, my writing, my thinking, my questions and observations, will they all lead to something. I continue to write and draw to find out. It is a question worth answering.

What am I doing?

4/26/2015

307.

Reason

What am I doing?

The pain did drive me to the maker and to cry out in many ways so I would feel less alone and that will continue until it just stops or is somehow transformed.

Private conclusions can't stand alone

4/2/2015

300. Past

Reason for writing

Private conclusions can't stand alone

Life brings up many questions. It’s as if there is a riddle to be solved. Answers are needed. After many years of pondering these matters, I would like to share what I have arrived at, or, put another way, what I am left with. All has been stripped and honed down with time. Naturally, there is a need to reach out to others for confirmation and support. It is not always enough to have your private conclusions. Comments to others, whether listened to or not, complete the process. It can be nourishing and reaffirming. People can be even helpful. If they oppose what you are saying, it still can refine their thinking or yours.

Since I am no longer young, my words and drawings have a chance to reach out beyond my immediate parameters.

Now at the cusp

1/24/2015

269. Past

Reason

Now at the cusp

Most writers write the bulk of their work in their younger or middle years. This is before age and the awareness of death have to be faced. Age and death change everything and challenge all previous conclusions. Their writing is less complete because of this.

The difficulty, alluded to before, is that just at the point one becomes aware of age and death, the need to write begins to become less.

I find myself now at this cusp. It is important I write with the added perspective of age and death and overcome the lethargy that settles in.

Can meaning emerge

1/24/2015

268. Past

Reason

Can meaning emerge

Can something real emerge out of this culture is my question? Can superficiality, materialism, commercialism be overcome with something meaningful. I started and continue the writing and drawing to answer this question.

Still real

12/18/2014

254. Past

Reason

Still real

I’m writing for those of you who, like me, have spent a lifetime trying to figure things out. It seems as if we had no choice. The institutions, both religious and secular, were so big and impersonal. They had their own agendas. We were alone in our search and often didn’t even know it, or couldn’t admit to it. The implications were too large. Friends and family rarely understood what we were after, at least not until many bridges were crossed.

At times it seems as if some of us were handpicked for this special search. At other times, the wisdom and truth seems to be equally spread out. Gems come from all people. There is no clear answer to this.

Surprisingly, when many years have gone by, and age becomes a reality, the insights, truths, perspectives previously arrived at seem almost superfluous, a waste of time, a mere game that had to be played out. Was the search a stage that had to be outgrown, a skin that had to be shed? Was this just a long preamble before we realized life was just life, to be lived, with no preconceived notions and no firm answers? Was life just unexplainable?

Perhaps so. The quest for psychological, spiritual, metaphysical and religious truths dissipates with time. Survival, our basic needs, our basic wants trump everything. Searching almost seems childish. Sometimes just talking about the “bigger picture” feels awkward and out of place. There is really nothing to say. Just live out your life and try to get what you can out of it. This is the common solution.

But is it enough? Is there an underlying current that shouldn’t be ignored? Did the yearning for answers really have more value than a sophomoric term paper? I sense, but can’t prove, the answer is yes. It might be faint, maybe barely a memory, but again I sense it is real.

Unity and bursts of insights

11/16/2014

238. Past

Reason

Unity and bursts of insights

Reaching one inclusive system that is all encompassing seems flawed. The best one can do is attempt to do it. The need to unify everything is built into us, but because we can only see part of the whole, it will be remain incomplete. Plus, it seems as if age places a damper on this effort. For a time, though, this effort to unite is useful even if flawed. It creates a structure that serves as a standard.

Again, this is just for a time. For now, bursts of insights on spiritual things bring us closest to how things work. These awareness’s are pieces of the puzzle, making no claims to grasp the entire puzzle. Instincts, emotions, intellectual revelations all come into play from different angles that add to a total understanding.

Some are observers

11/16/2014

235. Past

Reason

Some are observers

Some of us are observers. We observe until the end. At first I did it naturally. Later I saw this as a philosophical virtue as described by others. But is it merely some people’s nature? It is not by choice. It isn’t really practical. It is not a craft.

It resembles some people who do good. I used to think they did so for the good itself, but often it is just because they have to. Some do it because they have to please to live. For some it’s just their thing, what they do.

This shouldn't diminish the work of a good observer. It merely should add to the well of understanding from which it emerges.