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The wider perspective

11/26/2014

244.

Spiritual living

The wider perspective

There is always a wider all encompassing perspective where one can end up. My writings can start at any point of life. Any dilemma, any issue or situation, can be the beginning of a process that seeks clarity and understanding and resolution. This process is not necessarily a conscious effort. Nor is logic the isolated tool to solve it. What happens is that certain pressures from existence and yearnings deep inside pull us towards what seems like an answer. For me this often happens in the morning. As we live dilemmas arise, the past reappears, and your perspective is coaxed to widen and broaden. In the dimension of time, this expresses itself as forward motion, marking a path. To continue moving, which it must in time, and as more and more seeming obstacles and experiences are faced, the path must seek higher ground and widen to keep going forward and not become stuck and inert.

Sometimes a writing might catch this point of being stuck. The path out and solution to move forward is not there for the moment. There is a beauty in this because the answer is not being forced. You are respecting what you see with no embellishments and just taking note. This can be done through art or writing or telling a story or just conscious observing. Still, the process of forward motion is still working. The pain and discomfort and yearning seek relief for some deeper realization to rest in. Even detachment is not a long term solution, for we have to end up attached to something. Since in time all stopping points and tangible objects and thoughts and actions are incomplete, we must move forward towards completion. That is all that is trustworthy. And this forward motion in order to self propel must include a wider, higher, all encompassing expansion.

Nature's indifference

11/26/2014

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243. Past

Principles

Nature

Nature’s indifference

Is nature indifferent? On a program about bears, one man claims they have personalities, can even be gentlemen, and often show human characteristics. Another man claims all the bears care about is their food and their next meal. At times this seems true, that they are indifferent feeding machines.

This is one of many contradictions one has to accept. We can’t understand it all. Depending on circumstances, both characteristics are part of the truth to varying degrees.

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Linda agreed

11/26/2014

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242. Past

Vignettes

Linda agreed

Linda had a house that was a small museum. The couple who previously owned it collected art, antiques, and everything cute, cuddly, folksy and charming. It was a politically correct, low budget collection that the city had recently given museum status. Her passion was to expand publicity to it, add local artists to the inventory, and open up a gallery in one of the rooms.

I said “Isn’t it funny? You get older and there are two messages. One is to pursue your cause with intensity and with what you have left. The other is to push yourself less and get some enjoyment out of the time you have left. Both conflict, but both are valid.”

She concurred. Previously she had confided that it had been a very tough year for her, the toughest which included a hospitalized husband and two kids with their difficulties. She said her body was tired.

So which is it? Make a final stand, push to the end, get the job done and die trying, sacrificing for something bigger, something to leave behind you, or enjoy, calm down, don’t push, breathe, appreciate, accept, don’t fight things, take some pleasure, flow?

There’s no answer. Both are right.

(In the picture section the second pic reflects this writing. Both were done some years ago.)

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A favorite teller

11/26/2014

3 Comments

241. Past

Vignettes

A favorite teller

I saw my favorite bank teller at the bank. She's an attractive lady, if not a little worn; a little tired. At times we talk about sinus problems and at other times we talk about how things aren't well, not to be necessarily negative, but to be truthful.

This time, she said things were too much. She said work was laying on all these rules and regulations, plus more work. Her mind couldn't take anymore and didn't want to. Then she said she can't wait until it all comes apart. I asked until what comes apart. She said the government. I said I've been waiting for things to fall apart for a long time, but it just goes on. She said don't worry, it will.

An older, obnoxious customer made his impatience felt, and so I had to leave but on the way to the car, I felt better. I was getting used to things as they were, trying to accommodate and adapt. This was a reality check. There is unhappiness around and we need relief.

(Written some years ago but applies for the present)

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Even art betrays

11/26/2014

2 Comments

240. Past

Principles

Art

Even art betrays

All my sureties are dissolving. There are no certainties. I still have the knowledge of God but everything else is mush. All my previous stands seem off. What I asserted doesn’t feel right. Even projecting my art feels off. I am torn between observation and drawing from knowledge. “Observation drawing” conflicts with “knowledge of form” drawing. I have trouble reconciling this. So even art betrays, and all I am left with is knowing of the above.

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Together

11/26/2014

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239. Past

Praise

Together

I am lifted by exhilaration,
and joyous for the moment.

My body tingles with you
And my hands vibrate.

Come, let us be together.

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Unity and bursts of insights

11/16/2014

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238. Past

Reason

Unity and bursts of insights

Reaching one inclusive system that is all encompassing seems flawed. The best one can do is attempt to do it. The need to unify everything is built into us, but because we can only see part of the whole, it will be remain incomplete. Plus, it seems as if age places a damper on this effort. For a time, though, this effort to unite is useful even if flawed. It creates a structure that serves as a standard.

Again, this is just for a time. For now, bursts of insights on spiritual things bring us closest to how things work. These awareness’s are pieces of the puzzle, making no claims to grasp the entire puzzle. Instincts, emotions, intellectual revelations all come into play from different angles that add to a total understanding.

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Fight till the end

11/16/2014

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237. Past

Spiritual living

Fight till the end

It’s a fight till the end. It’s a life long struggle. All my ideas, my beliefs get severely challenged by time. Nothing holds up. You’ve heard it all. Will God end up being a crutch, or being real? Were you off, or were you right? It’s a long hard struggle to find out.

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Answers 1 and 2

11/16/2014

0 Comments

236.

Observations

Answers 1

It seems as if the thrust to get answers is not in what I know but to move forward somehow. Relationships, disciplines and actions here should be respected but not overly rehashed. Somehow the relief seems to come from moving on to a higher level, whether transformed somehow into another dimension or if possible reflected in this world.

Answers 2

I realize now many of the 'whys' about the past will not be answered in this life. There will be reconciliation and acceptance but not direct answers to my questions. At least this is relief from feeling I have to understand all that has happened before time runs out.

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Some are observers

11/16/2014

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235. Past

Reason

Some are observers

Some of us are observers. We observe until the end. At first I did it naturally. Later I saw this as a philosophical virtue as described by others. But is it merely some people’s nature? It is not by choice. It isn’t really practical. It is not a craft.

It resembles some people who do good. I used to think they did so for the good itself, but often it is just because they have to. Some do it because they have to please to live. For some it’s just their thing, what they do.

This shouldn't diminish the work of a good observer. It merely should add to the well of understanding from which it emerges.

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Steven B. Nussdorf records his lifelong search to find meaning outside of the normal channels. He uses writing, poetry, and drawing to document this effort.

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