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Mechanical failures

2/21/2019

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695.

Principles

Life

Mechanical failures

Suddenly a bunch of mechanical things need to get fixed.  I suppose it helps get my mind off of loftier issues.  The water heater is showing moisture around its base.  Checked with a plumber neighbor and sounds like a new one has to be gotten.  Irving, my ancient car given for dead, might have his exhaust pipe cleaned after another neighbor said doing this revived his own car.  This comes after an antique car person visiting a neighbor showed interest in the not quite antique vehicle.  Probably worth a shot. Then an old root canal with an apico done some years ago should be extracted, I think. Even my electric waterpic is acting up  Mercury is going retro on the 5th of March for a long time and is supposed to be badass so trying to get stuff done before.  Yes, I pay attention to this.  With a grain, but give it respect.

Then I read recently in a writing by a rabbi about a Jew who was being extricated from Spain in the 15th century with his wife and two kids and there was a plague on the boat.  The captain dropped this man and his family off on an island, his wife died, he passed out and when he woke up his kids had passed, and he said basically to God 'although your trying to turn me away, I still believe in you and am still a Jew.' 

Are we really supposed to be that tough?  After everything is that what it comes too?  I thought I could let in softness, wisdom, some ease and grace and flow. Well, the above story caught my ear so apparently we're supposed to be everything.  Day to day we don't know what is called for.  Nothing is off limits.  No expectations, day by day.   Each day stands on its own.

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Life itself is wrong

1/27/2019

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687.  Past

Principles

Life

Life itself is wrong

Have you had enough?
Are you tired?
Aren’t you weary?
It’s over. It’s finished.  We’re left just going thru the motions.  We’re shells without insides. We’re like a fine oil painting, but upon looking closer, we have thousands of hairline cracks.  We are cracking from the inside as well as the outside.

If you don’t know this, you’re not honest.  You’re dulled.  You don’t ask enough questions. You are blind to your own predicament.  You might be seemingly lucky, but what you really are is superficial. If you do know this, you are in pain.  You suffer.  You might put together a life of sorts, but none of it seems quite right.  You might even be ok.  You might even master the art of living, but this just keeps you going in an illusion.  There is still something deeply wrong.  You are wrong.  What you are doing is wrong.  Life itself, for you, is wrong.

Now, not only are you cracking on the inside, but the outside is cracking as well.  The world is convulsing with pain.  The heat is up and the kettle is beginning to shake.  The pressure is building.  Big, scary happenings loom in the future.

And now, what is there to hang onto?  What is left?  If there is no meaning, as there seems to be, then what is there? If there is meaning, how is it found?  If it is found, has it been corrupted and is not the real thing? 

We have a dilemma.  It is not enough just to survive.  Something more is needed.



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    Steven B. Nussdorf records his lifelong search to find meaning outside of the normal channels.  He  uses writing, poetry, and drawing to document this effort.

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

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