Death and dying
Anger and dying
My dad passed earlier this year and my mom about 8 years ago. On all levels a multiude of observations and reactions have hit me. One concerns anger and hostility during the last period of life itself. Outbursts and unpleasantries to say the least were verbalized by both parents. Even physical expressions of rage were observed. Of course other emotions were experienced and were part of the whole scenerio, but moments of hositlity emanating from my parents definetly had their place. Why so?
The medical people, not without reason, saw such outbursts as symptons to be subdued and repressed, whether with physical restraint or through medications. The cause was not fully discussed nor understand by me. Perhaps the chemistry of the brain does get altered or is deprived of oxygen for brief periods of time. Still, why such periods of acting out? On the other hand, all emotions were experienced, docility and passivity too.
I suspect the reason for rage has some roots in reality. There is anger over how one is dying versus how one should die. In each person's mind there is an ideal way to die, in one's bed surrounded by the familiar and a general consensus between mind and body and spirit from within that it is time to go. One wants to reach that point. Medications have altered this reality. They have prolonged life but also shortchanged the chance to have a natural end. When one realizes this it is too late. What is being done to you is against your will consciously or unconscioulsy and your protests go unnoticed. You might not even know what you want, but you want something more. Hence, the anger.
You want to change things but are trapped, and your protests are seen as rebellion and symptomatic. To some extent you are a prisoner within the system you have participated in. You see the trap and can't do anything to change it. In bursts of anger you break through the medications and protest Inside your being knows something is wrong, and it implusively flairs up in rebellion.
While this is not an exlsusive reason, I think there is truth to it.