605.  Past

Leading

Quelling the bitterness

Maybe in life you have seen too much.  You’re too bitter.  It would not be sophomoric to ask if there is something more.  You want to quell the bitterness and nothing really has worked.  So you investigate further and further.  That is the search.

600.  Past

Leading

Stepping stone

Art is a philosophical search for essence.  It has rules  that can lead to truth.    Sometimes breaking rules reveals the truth.   Gauguin, in one of his last paintings, wrote on the  canvas “who are we, where are we going, where are we from?”  Art can be a stepping stone on the road to finding out.  Artists flirt with being prophets.

598.  Past

Leading


Certain visual moments

In this life, part of us knows there’s something more.  Certain visual moments, combining mood and then intangibles, hint toward the beyond.  Certain lights on objects, certain times of the day, certain times of stillness, invite us to look deeper.

These visuals are not necessarily about beauty, although beauty  often is an inherent intangible.

360.  Past

Leading

Beyond all the pushing

I once wrote “beyond all the pushing (in life, the efforts given) there has to be the face of God (on the other side of any effort, desire, beneath or above).”

If this wasn’t so, it all means nothing.

335.  Past

(This poem accompanies drawing 331., Despair 2.  It is the second poem for this drawing.)


Despair 2

To search and find is not easy,
and if done remains a problem.

To search and not find leaves
one empty.

In this age of nothingness
where can one turn?

One has to find God,
all else is despair.

Even if found there is despair,
but a despair from knowing.

203.  Past

Leading

Trying things

Another reason to try things, experience things and even be tempted by things is this; even though originally fulfilling and pleasurable and promising they eventually disappoint.  This let down again leads you back to seek an above.   We are reminded once again we need a longer lasting solution than what is offered on this plane.

123.  Past




Leading

(In the section Leading 11 reasons are given that might lead one to question if there is a 'beyond and above.')  This is number 7.

7. Pain as a motivator

It is not popular to think this way, but I find it close to the truth. I trust the pain I have more than anything else. It is the obstacle holding me back from where I’m supposed to be. It is what keeps me from feeling well. Mind you, I am not for dwelling on it or drowning in sorrow, but one’s constant dilemmas and traumas are what constitute your makeup and from where you emerge. As the pressure of the sea makes the pearl what it is, your deepest pains produce you. They are larger than you, and your symptoms are an indication of this. These pains make you seek relief and answers. As these answers fall short one keeps on seeking. Avoiding the pain is a great motivator.

There is a place for feeling good, for escaping pain, for running from it or “faking it until you make it.” All is part of life. Staying busy and active and alive has a place, but it does not replace the pain of this existence. Busyness will only work for a time. Yes, it is the game of life. One might 'have game' and posture when single to find a mate, but then when successful does one reveal who one really is? One might 'up' talk and use positive thinking to overcome negativity. This is a valid tool. However, all these actions should have as a backdrop humility. Otherwise they cover the real pain of life, providing solace for a time, but they are not long lasting. They allow us to absorb in digestible doses the distress we experience. Getting through the day, playing the game, having distractions are not running but absorbing our distress in doses we are able to take. At some point though we have to slow down and not run and face the pain and dig for deeper answers.