658.  Past

Principles

Psychology

Sometimes can’t control damage


No matter how self-aware one is or psychologically astute or careful and thoughtful, the original dynamics of how you are designed and of your early influences still have hold over you.

436.  Past

Principles

Psychology

Power

I was speaking on the phone to an acquaintance/friend who is somewhat sophisticated in the esoteric art of astrology.  The conversation had to do with some of our similarities in our backgrounds reflected in what is called the 'north node.'

Let me digress and give an opinion on astrology.  I am often suspect of it, and I don't invest total faith in it.  However, often its descriptions seem somewhat close to reality, more so than just chance.  Granted readings, no matter how accurate, are limited by the depth of the practitioner.  Astrology is based on a flaw by claiming the earth is the center of the universe.  It also makes no reference to a 'maker, an almighty.'  So why do I give it credibility?

Well, as far as the latter, you can  be a good electrician and still be an atheist.  As per the former, a false premise does not negate the verity of what is built around it.  Many truths surround a lie.  Much of modern science is based on bad science premises, yet some accomplishments have been made, even if full potential was never reached.  Further, in the metaphysical realm, if the world is an illusion, astrology remains an illusion that sometimes appears real. 

Anyhow, my friend had an interesting and profound observation of our pasts.  It actually stopped me in my tracts.  I thought I had given enough time  analyzing all realizations from my past.  I had explored the psychological need to understand the roots of the problem and the spiritual need to forgive and free oneself from ongoing resentments that don't easily disappear.  However, I was taken aback.  I realized the effects of our pasts go deep, very deep.  After all, they altered our true natures, altered our course of life, and allowed discordance to enter.  It is not enough to say I understand, and I forgive and forget.  The past is not a test to be passed and then to graduate into a beautiful human being.  It is not necessarily only about moving forward.  It might seem that way, but actually it is about returning to your original state and navigating obstacles that altered this.  You had it, lost it, and have to figure out how.

When I heard what I heard I felt a release, which is a sign of recognition of comfort with some deep truth.  so here it is.  My friend said that we were born into a 'power struggle.'  This explained so many things.  It explained why my past was like a battle from the beginning even until the present.  If one replays the scenario from one's past, then this is why.  Of course this is somewhat universal, but in particular defined my past. Family members can be nice, even loving, but still out for their own importance, their own power.  Human attributes can be added, such as kindness, charm, sacrifice and so on, but with core dynamics being the seeking of power. In such an environment one can never fully trust nor rest.

504.  Past

Principles

Psychology

Doing good

Doing good can hurt you as much as doing bad.  It can drain, deplete, exhaust, bloat your self-image, be an escape from seeing yourself and have you running from who you really are.

337.

Principles

Psychology

Ego or not  

If one has to choose a direction or activity how does one know if it is from ego or just natural?  It can be hard to know the difference.  One way of approaching such a dilemma is this; just make the activity another choice, something that is before you, but don't be for or against it.  Be willing to let it go if it reveals itself as an ego choice, or continue it if it seems honest.  It can even start out from ego but turn into something reasonably healthy. 

In doing so the decision is not life and death.  You are bigger than the choice.  Just have a sense of peace about you and pursue it.  If you fear a vacuum if you reject it, don't.  Life will provide and fill in the gaps and still pass through you in a meaningful way.

331. 

330.  Past
(This is a poem accompanying above drawing.  There is another shorter poem to the drawing not here, hence the number.)

Despair 1
       
It seems as if there’s       
an error with humanity.     
Something is not right.
        
Many run from this      
and try to build a wall of safety.
        
We despair,       
they act and get ahead
and life goes on.      
        
The basic questions in life still persist,
“who are we,       
where are we going,       
where are we from?”

They seem too busy
to think about such things.
We torture ourselves
looking for answers.

If you are one
who goes through such struggles,
best not deny it.
Live like the others,
copy them if you must,
get through anyway you can
and just,
just wait to see what happens.

At the very least
you might stumble
across a similar soul,
compare notes,
and be grateful
you are not the only one.

92.  Past


Principles

Psychology

Subconscious and conscious mind

This is another take on psychology and processing.  In normal psychology
the subconscious lies beneath the conscious.  The subconscious consists of
our underlying internal driving motivation and needs, not all known to the
conscious mind.  The conscious mind is what we are aware and cognizant of
in terms of our behavior and reasons for what we do.  The goal is the
alignment between the conscious and subconscious mind.  In this paradigm,
the subconscious is the chief author of our emotional and mental drives.

Another paradigm places the conscious mind above the subconscious mind. 
Along this line of reasoning, the conscious mind chooses how we should act in
line with how we believe, and then controls, edits and tempers the subconscious
mind to act accordingly.

So if your conscious mind knows it's wrong to steal the candy, and your
subconscious impulse is to steal it, the conscious mind through discipline and
control dictates restraint.  In this way the higher consciousness controls
the lower consciousness.

88.


Principles

Psychology

Power struggle

My acquaintance/friend Tina, who has studied astrology, made a poignant
observation.

First, my views on astrology. Very often its observations seem somewhat
accurate. Of course they are limited by the perspective of the reader. 
Astrology is based on a flaw, that being the earth is the center of the
universe.  However, many philosophies and religions have a flawed premise,
and still truths are built around them.  Even a flaw, if consistently held
up, is a standard to measure everything else by. Astrology also omits a maker,
an above, which for me limits its depth and understanding.  But it is a
multi-century old tool, to be looked at if your path crosses it.

So, the gem of insight Tina received  she claimed applied to both of us,
and was related to the 'north node.'  She said in this life we seek peace
because we were both born into a 'power struggle.'  Wow.  It explains
so much.  It seems as if there was a battle for position from the beginning
with all the players in my life, all jealously guarding their turf. Perhaps
limited resources was the cause.  I've heard psychological explanations,
spiritual and religious interpretations, but never heard it phrased like this.
Who would assume from birth, instead of occupying a place that was preset, one
had to justify and fight for that place? For some of us that's how it was and
the script continues throughout life.  When hearing this I felt a release
which is a sign of 'truth recognized.' Of course to some extent this is a
universal characteristic, but for a few this is life defining.

Family members can be nice, even loving, but still out for there own
importance, their own power.  Human attributes can be added, such as
kindness, concern, charm and sacrifice, but with the core dynamics being power
sought, in such an environment one can never fully trust nor rest.

77.

Principles

Psychology


On the line

An old friend and I shared how we both in the past had taken things too
seriously.  I concurred that a serious reaction to every problem that comes
your way is not good.  I said I thought I understood why this
happens.  It comes from one's background and not having needs met in your
youth.  As such, one is always on the line, everything depends upon the
last decision and there is no sense of security or back-up.  So for you, it
really is serious.  However, as an approach to living this doesn't work in
the long run.

My friend agreed and said it was very true about always being on the line and
having everything depend on the last decision.