​719.

Principles

Living

Emerson's Statement Plus

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Beautiful statement by Emerson.  It has truth and is relieving.  It's not all about what we do or experience externally.  More can be said but its best to just let it sink in.  

The thinking behind this wisdom is as far as observational and experiential thinking can take us.  It is bottom up thinking, meaning one works their way up from observation and experience with no preformed conclusion.  In a sense it is a humanist approach, combining science and art and instinct and all that is offered on this plane.   (Top down thinking is having a preformed conclusion, ideology, or religion and compartmentalizing reality into that.  We are not dealing with that here.)

Returning to Emerson's statement, as truthful at it is, I feel, for us now, more is needed.  We are being forced almost out of this realm.  His wisdom implies character and sustainability and a certain solidity to one's make-up.  I don't feel that is easily available and obtainable today, even if one has a firm foundation.  Continuity and stability are hard to come by and we are constantly thrown off balance.  Given this it is difficult to have the footing to keep a steady discipline of mind and body and orderly observation.

Fear, anxiety, crisis, even minor and major trauma cause one to reach and squeeze from one's being another connection, perhaps to a higher realm.  One needs to connect not in an esoteric sophisticated way and but in an available immediate way.  Speaking to the above honestly is such a connection.  You are using your everyday means of communicating.  There is no patience or energy for anything more complicated.

If this works for a person one has achieved what can be done in these times in my opinion.  Even so, life might not change.  This might be the high point of a long journey using observation and experience.  One has gone as far as one can go.  The surprise is that you might still be left wanting.  This entails a tremendous disappointment and let-down.  A retreat from this two dimensional communication is in order. The blows from life just keep coming Your condition has not changed and relief is still needed.  You had hoped it would change things, but it hasn't.  

If so you'll have to sober up and just  be human.  In other words accept reality as you see it on this material plane and deal with it realistically, keeping your long trail of observation and experience in the background.  Their conclusions were valuable but you can't lead with them.  You can't function in the day to day from that realm.  It will be tucked away, you'll know its there, but handling life and the day to day and survival will require more practicality, at least for a time.  That is the how things seems to be at the present.

718

Principles

Understanding

Mission Versus Human

Do I continue in this mission type head and path or do I just be human?


On the other hand, if I let go and just be human, although it connects with others, I'm not sure what supports it in these times.  The only strength lies in reaching upwards and everything else just sinks because there is nothing beneath it.

717.  


Observations

Musings on Birthdays and Hurricanes

(Was going to mail webs yesterday but might have lost power so waited and wrote it day after storm and getting it out there.)

I've written about this before but am revisiting the subject.

My birthday is around this time and its always been a heavy time of year.  School used to begin on the same day so right away there were mixed messages.  Around this time things get serious, summer is over, nights get shorter, and the grind begins.  Truthfully, it feels like the beginning of the year.  Recently, 9/11 occurred during this month and, oh, its also peak hurricane season.  

Today is the first day after Dorian, a hurricane that delivered 185 mph winds 100 miles from where I live.  It was catch your breath the whole way.  One minute it would head up north, the next it might hit us directly.  I prepared for two days and was late to the game because I thought it wold disperse and was handling other deadlines.  Fortunately wind bands with 50 mph gusts were the worse I experienced.  However, one did not know until the very end if it might turn and come onto shore. It was a deadly game of chance, like Russian Roulette.  You sensed it wouldn't hit the land but who really knew?  One could not actually believe what was out there.  If a bully picked on you, you often remained in a state of denial.  This didn't really happen to me you said to yourself.  Same with this.  You can't believe its really happening. 

I received some calls from friends, many single down in Florida, inquiring how I was and telling me how they were fairing. Other people have left the area. I have my art and belongings here and won't. If a window breaks and your place floods its all gone. My nextdoor neighbor was to have a birthday party for me, inviting just people in our building and across the street, but her kids bought tickets for her to go to California. One feels kind of deserted when this happens. If single and living alone you face your fate just by yourself in your own box. This truth is hammered home during this time. Hence the calls, which have value but still are not the real thing. If family and friends aren't there physically with you, its really just you. Talk ends up just talk, having a place but not physical and supportive help.
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Some people were cavalier, saying it won't come on shore, it's done or gone.  I definitely felt their arrogance or cockiness was not respectful to the forces that be. God could not be pleased with such smugness.  One is humbled by the potential of such force.  The good thing is that some  remaining people do tend to be nicer.  A common threat soothes the nerves and puts all your problems on the back burner.  You are all frail humans facing possible devastation.

Speaking of the above, I received a call from a friend talking about the month of Elul in Judaism which is around this time.  It is the most profound and thoughtful time of year leading to the holidays in the next Jewish month.  The general tone is to realize how one has strayed and behaved badly at times and to be sorry for this and try to improve and do better in the future  (not always easy to translate into modern times.  Life is complex and good and bad are muddled. Should one show soft love, tough love?  How about a million aggravations and catch 22's.  How does one live this?  Still, one has to sift through it all).  My friend described shooting an arrow at a target.  It might miss but its an attempt to better yourself, who you are, even if you miss the mark.  My friend followed this by saying 'if God sees this sincerity and good intentions in you, he will write you in the Book of Life, and you will live another year.'  Basic but speaks to the heart, at least to me.

The Book of Jonah and Psalm 27 allude to this in their own ways and are read during this time.  Indeed, Jonah was swallowed by a whale in the depths of the ocean and brought back to life to appreciate what is good and the grace available and gave up his resentment and hate. (Aren't we always having silent verbal arguments with others in our heads?  He was angry the sinful city was not destroyed and that God withheld punishment.)  David in the psalm remained confident in the  maker and put his faith there even when surrounded by those who would kill and mutilate him.  Facing a hurricane with 185mph winds possibly coming right at you and then turning at the very last day was a Jonah like experience.  There could have been destruction and it could have been the end but after the scare mercy was shown.  Indeed, after this possible plunge came the realization my birthday was coming up and I did live another year.  That means something even though it looks back.  With some humility hopefully I'll get to live another year.

So yes, this is a  heavy time of year.

​715.


Principles


Life


Purpose Driven


The advantage of having an overriding purpose and/or activity is that the rest of your life is not random. A multitude of other activities, washing the dishes, changing auto insurance, recycling an old vacuum cleaner, going through the closet, and on and on, all play a part in this purpose. Otherwise they are just an endless array of chores and 'have to's' that whittle away your energies until you are drained. You are doing this or that for your bigger purpose.


The disadvantage of being purpose driven is that you can't go with the flow so easily. The structure of your life has this direction and you can't alter directions too much. An adventure, or trip, or just a spontaneous pleasure can throw you off course. There are so many variables to keeping your life afloat that voluntarily choosing distractions can overload you. Your routine gets shaken. As said there are already enough interruptions that make it hard enough to be focused.


If you had or were given enough strength from the start and power you can absorb taking different roads and different activities and still rebound and come back to your purpose. If you don't have any fat in your makeup your lee way is limited and you can't afford to be thrown off course too often. Your recovery time makes this a liability.


So these are things to consider for being purpose driven.

714.

Explaining to God how I feel a bit let down.

Oil on canvas....6" by 8"

713.

Principles

Understanding

Two Parts to Life

(I jotted down some notes to do with this realization.  I've written about it before but each writing comes from a slightly different place.)

There are two parts to life.  The first involves time and moving through it, a journey of sorts forming a history with a story to be told.  What one experiences, learns, and wills into action turns into an timeline of  action which becomes this history.  All manner of being comes into play.  Street smarts, conceptual thinking, crafting, logic, passion, all form the soil from which this emerges.  A particular string of events tied together in one person going through their life is one portion of this.  They travel from somewhere to somewhere.  The story of this journey is first conceived in concept and later described by words.

The second part of life actually leads nowhere.  The first part keeps you busy and occupied and surviving while the second part plays out while traveling through the journey, although it has no journey inherent in itself. It is made up of unrelated moments that speak for and stand for themselves.  The senses might be perked, or a flash of realization might strike the person, or some experience with a person, place or thing just happens.  The moment stands out but the reason is not clear.  You just know you experienced it.  It doesn't point to a direction, help form an opinion or conclusion, or resolve anything.  It just stands on its own, no explanation is needed, and stands independent from all analysis. The only observation one can make about it is that it happens throughout life at unexpected times with for no rationale reason.  Even so, its effect is plentiful and profound even though one cannot say why.

Both are the two parts of life.

711.

Spiritual

Blessing more than forgiveness

For years in the psychological world and in the spiritual world I would hear one has to forgive, maybe not forget, but forgive to move on.  I believed this and tried to practice it in varying degrees.  Results were not always apparent and hard to read.  Sometimes it cleared the air.  Often the underlying tensions still existed.  It's complex to say the least.

Growing up I found out I was a Cohanan, ie a title passed down from father to son allegedly beginning with Moses' brother Aaron.  Cohanan's give blessings at the temple.  This was something I noted even though how it fit into my life I was not sure.  I do know when being blessed it did seem to lift me if not done mechanically by someone   For a couple of years now I've observed subtly when I bless a certain situation it seems to ease the circumstances and dim the edginess.  Recently I've blessed a couple of situations that were rough and there did seem to be an uplifting result, a kind of bubbling upwards effect.  Forgiveness was feeling mechanical and too related to 'cause and effect.'  Blessing something seemed to leave the full understanding to the above while remaining a mystery as to how it worked, but it did.  One was not required to know how.

My neighbor Jack, a good Catholic, seemed to bless different people and it seemed to ease acceptance of them, even if their actions were not fully acceptable or made sense.  In a conversation with my ex, Maggie, over some situation that I don't remember, she said 'just bless it.'  Hearing that right away I felt some relief.  So, when able or it seems appropriate and I remember, I'll bless a tough situation and it does seem to lift the whole thing.  Let's face it.  If one believes in God, it connects you to that source.  If if one doesn't, there still might be magic in the act.

Now if one finds a cyst in your prostrate and needs a controversial biopsy to find out if it is the big 'C,' it's hard to bless that.  We are human and pain and suffering is part of this whole thing and there is no way to skirt that.  Somethings one has to bear.  However, just being aware of what it is to 'bless' even such a situation  is a good awareness to have.  Down the road it might be able to be worked in.

Blessing also makes forgiveness work.  As stated before forgiveness can be dead end or mechanical. However, when you bless something, you add endless power to forgiveness.  It connects the tension to the above in unforeseen ways and there is something special in that.