Blessing more than forgiveness
For years in the psychological world and in the spiritual world I would hear one has to forgive, maybe not forget, but forgive to move on. I believed this and tried to practice it in varying degrees. Results were not always apparent and hard to read. Sometimes it cleared the air. Often the underlying tensions still existed. It's complex to say the least.
Growing up I found out I was a Cohanan, ie a title passed down from father to son allegedly beginning with Moses' brother Aaron. Cohanan's give blessings at the temple. This was something I noted even though how it fit into my life I was not sure. I do know when being blessed it did seem to lift me if not done mechanically by someone For a couple of years now I've observed subtly when I bless a certain situation it seems to ease the circumstances and dim the edginess. Recently I've blessed a couple of situations that were rough and there did seem to be an uplifting result, a kind of bubbling upwards effect. Forgiveness was feeling mechanical and too related to 'cause and effect.' Blessing something seemed to leave the full understanding to the above while remaining a mystery as to how it worked, but it did. One was not required to know how.
My neighbor Jack, a good Catholic, seemed to bless different people and it seemed to ease acceptance of them, even if their actions were not fully acceptable or made sense. In a conversation with my ex, Maggie, over some situation that I don't remember, she said 'just bless it.' Hearing that right away I felt some relief. So, when able or it seems appropriate and I remember, I'll bless a tough situation and it does seem to lift the whole thing. Let's face it. If one believes in God, it connects you to that source. If if one doesn't, there still might be magic in the act.
Now if one finds a cyst in your prostrate and needs a controversial biopsy to find out if it is the big 'C,' it's hard to bless that. We are human and pain and suffering is part of this whole thing and there is no way to skirt that. Somethings one has to bear. However, just being aware of what it is to 'bless' even such a situation is a good awareness to have. Down the road it might be able to be worked in.
Blessing also makes forgiveness work. As stated before forgiveness can be dead end or mechanical. However, when you bless something, you add endless power to forgiveness. It connects the tension to the above in unforeseen ways and there is something special in that.