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Dad's 100th

7/20/2018

651.

My Family

Dad

Dad's 100th

Today, July 15th, would have been my dad, Milton Nussdorf, the Cohanan's 100th birthday. He passed over 5 months ago. No big event or celebration was to be had. My sister wanted to celebrate the mark if achieved but later realized it was her goal moreso than his, which was preoccupied with just getting through each day and moment to the next. I think this is accurate. The substance of his life should be thought about today, or just his being acknowledged. Too much whoopla would have covered that up. Thoughts go to you today dad and to the highest essence of your spirit.

(Note: My sister originally posted his would be birthday on Facebook, and the next day I followed with this and felt it was a good concise resolution of sorts. The ups and downs of my relating to my dad are resolved here on a high note which feels and appears where it is meant to be.)

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Be here now

7/20/2018

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650.

My Family

Dad

Be here now

Years ago Baba Ram Dass wrote the iconic book 'Be here now.' It combined Eastern philosophies of meditation with the needs of modern times. The present moment is all we have was its message. Don't get caught up in the past or future or your mind if you want to stay mentally healthy is also the philosophy for the day.

My dad I heard say he was being punished. Just maintaining himself, putting in and cleaning his lenses, his hearing aid with adjustments, and his teeth took a couple of hours a day. Shopping, when able, even with help was an arduous path across first avenue, where bikes and lights and cars could trample his fragile body. I used to warn him not to fall. If he did that would be the beginning of the end. He did and the end came soon. A broken hip, infections even pneumonia, high blood pressure marked his last year.

I doubt he thought of making it to 100, or even celebrating it that much. In a sense he was busy living in the now. How often in a yoga class I would here that. Here my dad was doing so, but with a twist of irony, and at a high cost.

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Orchestrated or not

7/19/2018

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649.

Spiritual living

Orchestrated or not

Assuming one believed there is a God, do we assume everything that happens is orchestrated by him? It is comforting to thihk so. Often people say there are no accidents, no chance meetings, and everything happens for a reason. This all seems true.

On the other hand life sometimes is like soup into which we are just another engrediant thrown into the pot. Life often seems to have a life of its own, and often explanations are beyond our comprehension and understanding. Reasons given often seem sophomoic and wishful. LIfe often seems just like life, beyond easy explanations and knowing

So which is it? There is definitey a need inside of me to explain eveything that happens into a grander scheme and design. Is this just me perhaps compensating for some inherent lack? Is it just a neediness? Is it just an immaturity to want life to make sense? Do we accept willingly the uncertainty of it all? Is this uncertanty a truer reality then the dogmas or easy explanations given?

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July 19th, 2018

7/19/2018

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648. Past

Spiritual living

No answers

Don't have any answers anymore. I won’t even burden or stress the maker. I’ll wait for some confirmation myself.

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Dad's 100th

Be here now

Orchestrated or not

July 19th, 2018

Steven B. Nussdorf records his lifelong search to find meaning outside of the normal channels. He uses writing, poetry, and drawing to document this effort.

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