My Quest 2
Again, an Hasidic master wrote 'I and my quest are one.'
After reading this and being uplifted by it one morning I shopped at a nearby vitamin shop and the assistant manager Anthony, big loud and boisterous with a pony tail started preaching on how 'normal' people do the best. 'Just be normal' he maintained. Work, save your money, have kids and don't get too off on things. He said artists today are off, a little coo-coo. He had a film maker friend who asked him for money because he was two months behind on his condo payments. Anthony said you have $30,000 in the bank, why don't you use that? His 58 year old friend said that's for my film. Later he said his friend was sleeping on another friend's couch, a sacrifice for his dream. A casualty of artistic dreams and ambitions and waiting for something to happen, maybe for too long according to Anthony.
Anthony, formerly a musician, of course like an ex alcoholic wanted sobriety from too much dreaming. I said although I thought I had bit the bullet and become practical I really never stopped being a dreamer. Anthony added that fathers should train their sons to be practical, have their feet on the ground and not in the air. Yes artists were living in fantasies and were weird according to him. I said well life doesn't always permit that kind of feet on the ground upbringing. Sometimes all you have, the only thing that adds up, is your endeavor or quest which to counter not having that practical mindset. I also added maybe the practical people today are also missing something. He said they seem to be doing okay.
Later I thought of Judaism which surprised me with its practicalities. Originally archaeology shows their pottery was simple along with their homes. Nothing elaborate or fancy. They saw their job as earning a living, being decent, and waiting for the Messiah or Hashem himself to come .and having kids until he does. Sounds simple, almost enviable. No need for elaborate art here.
I pondered all these things but still the Hasidic master's words gave me strength and were more in line with my life. It was too late for me to be a normal person and get it together. 'I and my quest are one' offered comfort where the other ideas left me feeling empty.