708.

Principles

Art
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'It's just tennis.'

Years ago I recall reading or hearing an interview with Andre Aggasi and he was being asked  about his moodiness, or isolation, or not speaking to press, or something I don't remember.  His character and actions were being questioned.

His answer to it all was 'It's just tennis.'

After all these years I find often my mood or feeling of well being depends on how I did with my art.  I thought I could be more removed, detached, more zen about the whole thing at this point.  I am not the results is my mantra.  But art is a jealous beast and wants all of you even if you set limits.  Definitely if I am struggling something feels wrong inside me.  And if I do well I feel light hearted.  Often if I have a good session, or a good fifteen minutes, or even a good thought about an approach or problem, I:ll leave the work just so I can feel good for a while.  Sometimes I'll stay away for a day and savor it.

I wish it were different.  I wish I could be 'cooler' about the whole thing.  But part of maturity is acceptance of what is.  If I was able to change these dynamics fundamentally a lot of things would be different.  But I haven't been able to.  So I accommodate, see it for what it is, and see myself for what I am. 

 It's just art.\

707.

Principles

Understanding

Sections of life

Just a flash note here.  It seems as if in life there is your involvement with your place in the environment and your activities, and responsibilities.  Your interactions with your neighbors are one example.

Then there is the wider scope of the time and historical setting you live within.  It's where you are placed in the evolution of mankind and all the political, economic and social pressures that influence you.  Seeing how things turn out is of interest.  An example is how political actions have economic consequences.  There is some fascination in this, and it confirms your sense of judgement. It exists outside of your immediate needs so also takes you away from yourself and your own problems and challenges. It also allows for the opportunity to confirm or deny your judgments on various issues of the day which focuses your reasoning and intuition beyond just yourself. This allows you to test your presumptions and conceptions in a wider arean.
It can help you to see how on or off course you are.  It's another guidepost.

Finally, there is the section in life of life itself, on its own terms, just living and experiencing what comes before you.  These experiences are almost history independent.  Seeing a bird scamper on the beach or a wave retreat or having a pull towards a friend you knew 40 years ago are examples.  If the bird was sick due to pollution that would be part of history.  Otherwise just experiencing life without a oontext is  part of what we are here for. These core life expereinces are universal to the human life experience.

I'm not bringing in the spiritual dimension here.  I'm letting just what we see and experience speak for itself.  In this discussion no larger context is called for.  In a sense its kept clean that way.  Concept doesn't pollute.  These sections exist in the material world and emanate from what we can observe.

706.
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Spiritual Living

No patience for meandering

I was speaking on the phone to my ex wife Maggie and we were talking about the environment and tornadoes and the diminishing bee population.  I said we should be all on our knees asking for help, as in my first painting.  She then said check out the writer John Michael Greer whom her daughter, a millennial, was into as others in that age group.  Curious, I did and learned he was 66, hippyish looking and had founded recenty an occultist druid organization. Ho hum I thought. He was also a strong environmetnalist.  I thought the tie in should be interesting.

I then turned to a blog page he had and read a four page essay that was crafted well and carefully and was very engaging and involving.  He was a good observer, for example noting many hippies had become Jesus freaks and then moderate Christians.  Okay.  His basic critique was of positive thinking and preferred to let reality speak to us as it is.  He saw many of us as having stories in our minds that we applied to what we saw, instead of just honestly seeing what we saw.  True.  He saw many well off environmentalists as doing harm rather than good in their approaches to help the earth. I forget hhis reasoning. He also saw his own dichotomy in that in being an occultist he favored imagination here on earth which seemingly contradicts his endorsing objective observation. He kept on writing and built his case gradually.

However, it just became clear to me in writing the previous paragraph I don't remember really waht his case was.  I just was left with a general impression that whatever he was for or against and wrote about it was professional and done well but what was he really saying?  It became clearer to me he was just stroking himself, luxurating in his own clevreness.

I relayed this briefly to Maggie and said I did not research him after this..  I had lost some patience.  She also said that she was losing patience reading certain interpretations, or analysis, or explanations of things.  I said maybe some of it has to do with his still being 66.  Sounds old to some but around 70 certain things become clearer and patience runs a little thin, contrary to what I thought it would be like.   Maggie concurred. 

I ended the conversation by speaking brashly and saying I lost patience with his writing.  Basically I wanted his conclusion, where he landed, what he understood life to be.  I wanted to know 'did he believe in God or not' number one and if he did how does he work that in with how 'sh....t' life has become.  I think that covers it all. I wanted to hear his belief and his pain. That's all I was really interested in.  Unforetunately, he was still plaiying around.

705.

Spiritual

Dancing with God

Dancing with God
5" by 8"
​Oil on Linen

(Some history.....after the Painting Empathy i worked on a painting of the maker creating the universe in spheres.  The drawing was developed and anatomy all there.   somehow it felt wrong.  that took a month.

Then I worked on an interior of a hospice room with my dad dying and me present.  Details and objects were all there.  Somehow that felt wrong.  That took another month.

then i thought return to direct figures, have them say what they have to say directly and simply.  And so 'Dancing with God' came about which took another 6 weeks.   So far it feels right and back on course.  And so goes the journey.) 

704.
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Principles

Economics

(On Facebook a certain lady posted a link to what appeared to be Socialist leanings on the left.  Her points were well taken.  However, stirred by her ideological leanings, I countered giving examples of abusive capitalism, or what's been described as predatory capitalism.  She responded briefly saying we need 'compassionate' capitalism.  Maybe so, maybe not.  (I'm really in the middle, or, take no sides.)  I wrote the following response, kind of James Joyce, or Jack Kerouac stream of consciousness.  It's not overly literary but there is a certain feel to it which has some substance. Not constrained by grammar one can let it hang out so to speak.  

I forget if I actually posted it or not.  I think it describes the landscape that exists.)
    
704.

Answer to FB  'Compassionate Capitalism'

Somewhat true...but too much tech, too much centralization of power sources....leads to abuse....Sam Walmart started out an all American guy......good values...led to a monster....small cottage industries...tried...only so many tea shops can be done....now the worse types thrive....and truly, capitalism for a long time has been about making everything into plastic....and what's that doing to us....its really not the answer anymore.....return to tribalism.???? no real answers...just surviving as best you can whatever is thrown your way....that' what I see ...we've just gone to far in every which way....best to tone it all down, keep a small imprint and don't get carried away...OK, I've gone on.....I was out West for a time....people were trying that....community, mom an pop stores....but didn't last....bought there gold and silver......good principles but many are now gone and ended broke.....that's what I saw....now we have China sending their techies here....no conscience there, just business......basically I don't see an answer....just life will continue.....maybe until natural disasters intervene and we're all down on our knees....
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703.

Principles

Living

Parts of me
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Parts of me are opening up
and parts of me are drying up.