It seems as if the thrust to get answers is not in what I know but to move forward somehow. Relationships, disciplines and actions here should be respected but not overly rehashed. Somehow the relief seems to come from moving on to a higher level, whether transformed somehow into another dimension or if possible reflected in this world.
I realize now many of the 'whys' about the past will not be answered in this life. There will be reconciliation and acceptance but not direct answers to my questions. At least this is relief from feeling I have to understand all that has happened before time runs out.