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Where's Milton?

8/18/2013

5 Comments

 
55.

Parents

Mom/dad

Where's Milton?

A photograph of my dad taken on my trip to New York shows him having gained weight, up to 153 lbs from as low as 132 lbs when taking care of my dying mom over two years ago.  He looks somewhat fit for 95. At first times were difficult for him, but recently he takes some yoga and a strengthening class at the Stein Senior Center and walks to and from doing his chores.  Other than my sister checking in a couple of times a week he lives on his own.

From my perspective my dad wasn't always the best dad, wasn't always there for me and things weren't always smooth in his life.  He could be nice and not so nice, kind of passive aggressive as they say, sometimes for others to see, more often for my eyes only.

As said, it wasn't a smooth family life we had.  There were more than a few rough
spots.  What's interesting is this.  In the photograph, aside from looking somewhat vital, his face shows acceptance, peace and emanates love.  It is reassuring to look at.  In the Jewish religion there's a tradition since the time of Moses where a certain segment of men were Cohanan's, and this means they gave the blessings to others.  It is passed down verbally from father to son.  Looking at his face it does feel as if one is blessed somehow.  He hasn't kept up with his friends he knew with my mom. Instead, like the wandering wise men of India, he befriends who he interacts with.  Upon picking up something from the Chinese Laundromat where we both previously dropped something off, the young attractive lady owner said to me "where's Milton."  The "Milton" had a ring to it with love in her voice.  People respond to my dad well. 

My dad also sent me a photograph of himself and my mom about a month before her passing.  He was shrunken then, a stressed and sometimes short tempered 132 lbs.  Still, one can see a sweetness in his face as he faced what was overwhelming.  

So what led to this enlightened face?  Was it 67 years of bickering with my mom?  Was it
indecisiveness and inconsistency?  My dad rarely mentions a God, but talks  of nature and says he feels my mom's presence.  A warning to all you  spiritual seekers.  Let his face be an example.  Attitude adjustment, positive thinking seminars, reading wisdom books, traditional or current, meditations, righteousness, reading Lao Tsu,  or your I Ching, or recent tapping therapies, nothing, no nothing will do as good a job as time.  Only time and a spark of the divine (the latter being my bias) will smooth out the wrinkles and make you/me a blessing to those around us. 

Picture
  Dad smiling, looking somewhat buff.

Picture
Dad with mom a month before her passing.
Dad looked sweet, so did mom.

5 Comments
Evie
8/19/2013 06:23:35 am

Dad is "adorable" w all the word implies:-)

Reply
Marty
8/19/2013 06:24:52 am

Wow, your Dad looks pretty darn good for his age.

Reply
steven
8/19/2013 06:26:28 am

hey marty i'll tell him u said so. i'm impressed with how he looks. looks built.
a couple of vessels in his eyes leaked and this could cause trouble with his sight, having worn contacts for over 45 years. I told him to switch off leave them out every other day and let it rest. usually if technology helps us buy if we live long enough it can hurt us. so his eyes are a concern. but otherwise he's holding up well.
s

Reply
Marty
8/19/2013 06:27:22 am

45 years of trouble free eyesight. THat was a nice benefit. Yeah, it might be a good idea to switch back to glasses but its hard to change long standing habits even for us young guys!

Reply
Gail
8/28/2013 07:39:41 am

Your "photos" and writings of mom and dad were timely and so intensly meaningful for this period and forever.

Thanks.

Reply



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    Steven B. Nussdorf records his lifelong search to find meaning outside of the normal channels.  He  uses writing, poetry, and drawing to document this effort.

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

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