For a long time I thought I could cut through, compete. My own
train of thought, reasoning and hard earned resources were my weapons.
When they weakened I felt the power of your onslaught. Your successes, your money, your confidence, your surety, your numbers were too much, a tidal wave of accumulation. When doubting myself who was I to stand up to you. Your glaring brightness poisoned my vision and path and made it hard to see. Gone was any clear defense or mounted offense. I retreated back into no expectations with only the words 'but there is a God' stamped before my mind and on my lips.