sad out of blue

Sadness overcame Ruth

2/5/2015

276. Past

Vignettes

Sadness overcame Ruth
(This occurred a number of years ago.)

As I sometimes do, I met my walking friend midway along the path and we walked back to her apartment. She showered, I made myself a little breakfast and protein drink and sat on her fold out chair and relaxed amid comfortable surroundings. Ruth sat nearby on the couch and blurted out “you know I’ve been in this apartment for 3 1/2 years.” (She had moved from Oceanside, Long Island to Florida permanently after her husband died.) I was looking at the papers. Things were quiet. Suddenly Ruth sat up and said she had just been crying. She said she felt sad. I asked her if it was anything in particular. She answered, “No, just sadness overcame me.”

Sometimes life is sad. We move, people pass, things become no more. Sadness is awareness of time passing. It’s not necessarily bad though. We shouldn’t run from these feelings or cover them up with busyness. Sadness can connect us with the bigger picture. Somehow the more we can encompass in our being, without falling apart, the richer and deeper we become. Being sad can be a brave thing.

7 Comments

Maggie

2/6/2015 10:31:00 am

Sadness is such a peculiar thing. It's my mothers yahrzeit . She's gone 5 years now. I found it very difficult to recite the Kaddish aloud tonight. Daughter with me and she understood my 'silent' recitation, it's not that I had such a great relationship with my mother, but in the last years of her

Maggie

2/6/2015 10:43:06 am

Sorry again, having hard time completing reply - anyway - sadness can pervade all thoughts and feelings. Maybe it's this bloody retrograde mercury, but, I'm very sad and trying to swim through the murk of an inextricable soup. It'll pass, but none too soon for me.

Maggie

2/6/2015 10:38:28 am

(Sorry, some kind of glitch in previous comment) life, I took care f things: daily nursing care, visiting whenever I could leave dying husband with my daughter on LI). It's not that we had such a great relationship, bit it had improved tremendously toward the end of her life. Maybe because she perceived me as a 'success' (my own cable tv show, a business I ran, a successful child). I was fulfilling her dreams f an American

Maggie

2/6/2015 11:01:54 am

Seems that previous comments are presented out of order. Anyway, sure you get the point. I really think I've had enough of winter, people's behavior, just the course of events as they are now. Politics making me crazy, trying to finish estate issues; snow; cold. Going to Hawaii soon. Love it there but hate the trip. Should be grateful to be able to go. Just a bad day I guess.

Steven

2/6/2015 09:30:52 pm

Well I get the gist. The yahrzeit candle can trigger everything and that is not bad. We need to mourn about just the experience of life and our specifics life. Even a not great parent begat us, brought us here, and we don't want to give that up. It defines us. We mourn for who we didn't become, could of become, lost potential, lost people, we grieve over the whole thing. Best not to run from it or be too busy for it. Once spoke to my dad re my mom's passing and I must have said I was sad and he said 'Let it happen.' We contend but he knows some things. It is sad, all sad, but don't run from it.
Nice that you had some compatico with your mom towards end. And yes, crazy world, hard to make sense of it, mercury is backwards and legal bs doesn't go away. Hawaii ideal for yes far as far can be.
Maybe keep it simple, see one thing today that if you weren't alive you wouldn't see. Or create some order like cleaning something. Pretend you are a kid playing with a stick. Ease up on the mind for a bit. But yes, don't run from the grief. It has to be gone through so let it catch up and naturally dissipate. Its not self pity, its depth..

Maggie

2/7/2015 01:40:04 am

Nice response, and helpful. Thanks.

Steve

2/7/2015 05:26:55 am

Just one more thing...maybe u made reservations already, or have ties to Hawaii but that trip alone can be harmful. Hear airline pressure not good for certain health conditions. Maybe a practical near warm weather destination does the trick this time around with that much strain.

Sadness overcame Ruth

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Steven B. Nussdorf records his lifelong search to find meaning outside of the normal channels. He uses writing, poetry, and drawing to document this effort.

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