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New York Trip

7/26/2013

11 Comments

 
47.

Personal   
 
New York trip

I've come back from New York where father turned 95, the temp was 95, and friend Ray asked me if I took I95.  Cute friend Ray.  Dad says he told people he’s lasted because of his mother’s chicken soup.  I wonder if I’ll be able to say the same about Campbell soup. He and I had roller coaster moments, not easy for fully grown egos to be peaceful, but upon leaving he spoke warmly to me and said never know if he'll be around, but that it’s been special to be with me and that even when gone he'll be around. I added my twist saying that this life is unique and won't happen again and I will miss touching and being around him.  Had to get some negative out there.  Still, it brought a tear to our eyes.
 
We spent some time shopping at the Veteran's building picking up a travelling bag and then a $2.00 meal at the Senior Stein Center.  Strange how he, a good  student in his past, liked and took advantage of these institutional settings.  Seeing so many elderly and some damaged people still sits with me and no comment needed.  One morning we went to a neighborhood Greek coffee house where the owner said he was like wallpaper every morning.  I was honored to set foot on such hallow grounds.  Friend Maggie said good to cherish these times with dad.  She misses her parents and even her brother who is alive.  I realize many of you are orphans so to speak so this is fortunate for me to have a parent and still get 50th looks at things and process them.  Maybe I'm not ready yet for departure and maybe some of you were.  This brings up life itself and the age old conflict ‘are things meant as if on a journey or is it just life with indifference.'   I think things are meant but often beyond what we can see.

Had a first look at belongings recovered in basement after hurricane Sandy.  Gone was Sport, a stuffed tiger, a wired computer I built, model ships, tanks and report cards and who knows. 
About half a suitcase full remained. Recovered was an old all-star little league top from when I had played in Puerto Rico, some old drawings and writings (usually about people and relationships).   At seven ships were drawn with impressive accuracy, coloring, perspective and force, along with a horse’s head, and a line drawing of dad detailed and piercing.  A few later books of drawings were recovered, more studied, blander and less penetrating.  Between the dulling effect of canned and pressured schools, ricocheting from one art teacher to another later on, and just time spent on too many other things, I saw the loss and mourned it.  It was a record of what was that never fully blossomed.  Acceptance and self-forgiveness partially seeped in and I knew what I yearned for in the future, a sense of feeling better about what I do in the present.  That’s a gift.
 
Met with friend Ev who is having some landlord problems in New York and says Bloomberg  destroyed the middle class in the city along with the schools (she teaches) and has encouraged the greed of the landlords.  We talked over tea at another Greek diner Orion served by waiter Cosmos who gave her tenant advice.  Hmmmmm.  Something happening here?

Made it home after 4 hour delay from LGA where incoming jet's wheels never opened.  TSA was their bully self (had a pat down for a bottle of water in bag) but crowd became quite warm and united.  For a brief moment things weren't competitive. 
 
And this is a word sketch of my visit to New York where I grew up.   Now I'm back with the directional signal saying 'push on.'  Still, last night upon arriving home at 12 at night it was quiet and still and I saw a near full moon and I stopped to take pleasure in it.


 
 



 
Note:  Below are pics of some drawings saved.  For some this might have interest.  It is about my development, and maybe relates to yours.  We rarely get good looks back over decades ago.  An in depth understanding of art, which can include all of human potential, is good training to question and understand bigger things.  Other activities can accomplish the same, but the very nature of art leads to questioning, from the anatomy of a leaf to the science of atmosphere to the questioning of our existence, it's all there.
 
Picture
My first portrait I think at age 7 of my dad on a park bench.  I remember doing it and being thrilled.  I really caught him, nice appearance, somewhat preoccupied and mind off in the distance and, as my mom said, big Hungarian lips.  Later, when confused this was an important drawing to remember because it pointed to my basic instincts which was to draw an outline around an object or person.  Can't see it here but the eyes are done well and sensitively.  The whole head was seen and proportions understood.

Picture
Another early portrait at that age, maybe of my mom.  Again, like the early Renaissance craftsman such as a Giotto outline came instinctually.  I think the ideal is like a Raphael, to draw with innocence maintained while knowledge is forever increased.  To know this yet fall short has weighed on artists for centuries.  Various teachers liked me to throw paint and throw around colors but these were my basic instincts, to capture a line around life.  Liked the force here and beginning understanding of the head. 

Later, painting teachers taught by massing forms and/or impressionist type of applications, putting down large swatches of color values.  After being confused by this, recalling these early drawings where outline was important helped to ground me. 

Picture
A drawing of a horse done at same age altho probably later in the year.  It was from a photo, a much easier proposition. One can see how working from a photo produces a flatter, less authentic picture.  I Think I had help with the eyes and maybe deep shadows, perhaps from Pels, a New York Social Realist Painter in New York, my first teacher.  Realism is achieved at the price of authenticity.  Still, impressive for seven.  This is interesting for me to observe and perhaps for other artists to see.   It is before concepts clouded our heads.  The ears and fence show an early understanding of perspective.

Picture
Ships drawings from that period.  Some are from postcards, some from models built, some from partly my imagination.  The liners had quite of bit of detail.  The color schemes all hold to my mind.  Before one thinks I had a charmed life let me add I was not a great reader, and public schools then, a vision of Bernard Baruch, were all about reading and test taking.  One had to fit into a certain form to get thru those schools.  They were a narrow meritocracy, similar to what must exist in China and have existed in Russia.  To advance one had to fit in.  Art and drawing was not part of this, except in very elementary way.

Later I went to a progressive school.  It was another extreme.  Expressiveness was encouraged but craft and drawing skills were frowned upon.  One was made to feel backwards.  Just food for thought here.  In the first case one was just a number.  In the second case one had to fit in to a limiting agenda.  Oh, just to have been left alone and given space with some understanding.

11 Comments
'J'
7/26/2013 11:46:30 am

Have a good trip up north, enjoy your family. How long will you be away?
Does that mean no weekly letters? I so look forward to them.

Be well.

'J'

Reply
Tom
7/26/2013 09:59:57 pm

touching story should touch a lot of people.

regards,

tom

Reply
'B'
7/27/2013 05:06:07 am





WOW! Just read the overview from bottom to top from 7/08..Uplifting and very helpful for me....and YOU seem to be getting even MORE comfortable in "your shoes"! I'm so happy for you.

By the time I got to the visit...well, envied those friends you called to get together. I would have liked to have been one of them.:)
Writings AND art profound..
Soon...
'B'

Reply
tom
8/3/2013 11:05:46 am

Steve, the writings are refreshing. Great art work at 7.....didn't know you started that early. Shooting arrows into the void looking for eternal truths? Isn't it interesting that a bunch of them are right in front of us but sometimes we are blind. I remember Dr. Steven Covey saying you cannot fake push ups and you can't fake working the soil. Yesterday the homily was ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will open but you have to do it with conviction! How about what goes around, comes around.
Less frustration when we realize how the universe really works, don't you think?

Tom

Reply
'J'
8/3/2013 11:08:52 am

I was happy to read that the trip for your Dads 95th birthday was a success. It is very often difficult to go "Home" or "Back". However you did it.
Steve you have so much to say and say it so well.


Quiet weekend , went to see a Shakespear play outdoors in a park. Today went to some outdoor local produce markets.


Starting to think a bout the New Year Holiday so early this year.





Take good care ( as best you can)


J

Reply
Margaret Lindsay Holton
8/9/2013 09:19:26 pm

Hi Steven ~ nice compilation. Keep at it! Liked that portrait of your dad done when you were seven ... Artists are ever artists :) ~ mlh 21h ago

Reply
steven
8/9/2013 09:20:58 pm

Hey Margaret.......good to hear your voice....at least it feels that way. that for the encouragement. some artist friends think too much writing is a flaw.....could be, I understand where they are coming from. Still, the compass is set and I'm following it. Strange....the portrait at seven.....really, is it any less than anything else I've done? Strange emotions and thought tied to this. Love your last comment 'artists are ever artists' so true. the system tries, we try to deny it, kick it out of our systems, but its there, isn't it? I know you've been doing a lot (that's never stopped) and wonder about you. the business of things keeps me preoccupied but always my best. steve less

Reply
Margaret Lindsay Holton
8/9/2013 09:23:21 pm

Yes. I have a vivid memory of my first oil work: an Inuit seal kill on Arctic ice called 'The Hunt'. I was 14 and had stolen the paints & brushes & board from my mother's art box. I just KNEW then that I would do 'this' for the rest of my...more

Reply
steven
8/9/2013 09:24:28 pm

Margaret, your comments have the ability to penetrate in a special way...could I put this on the site under comments......If not I respect that...if so, I could use your first name, initials, full name or anything you choose. up until now a lot of people want just an initial..not sure of footing...but in your case I think full name appropriate...what say you, I accept whatever u think. the hunt must have been special...it is a treasure looking back at these first works....in the case of my portrait of dad, its before people influenced me and I tried to please them....its as close to me as it gets

Reply
Margaret Lindsay Holton
8/9/2013 09:34:28 pm

Owner, MLH Productions & Acorn Press Canada
I thought this WAS going in your site! Ah well, the challenges of the net, eh? If you can figure out how to post them where you want them ~ feel free. Glad I could help. Keep at it! :)

Reply
steven
8/10/2013 03:09:49 am

Margaret's site is http://canadadaPHOTOGRAPHY.blogspot.co

Reply



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    Steven B. Nussdorf records his lifelong search to find meaning outside of the normal channels.  He  uses writing, poetry, and drawing to document this effort.

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

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