'Good morning' not always
The deceased Norman Mailer once referred to ‘the dread’ he had when
waking up. How true sometimes. As you age it’s harder to ignore this.
You can try meditation, or medication, positive thinking, exercise,
getting busy with chores, talk shows or news or just push it aside and do
nothing. All these have a place and work for a time but also can be band
aids. You might try not running and facing the pain and dread.
Surprisingly if you don’t run and are able to stay still a light might break
through and lift you up. This works for a time and is good. At some
point I wanted communication with the source of this light, the maker, which of
course is my bias. I required clarification of an issue and some
answer. We are meant to dig, to try, to seek.
The clarification puts a problem into understandable terms. It is
where one is at. The communication with ‘an above’ refocuses one and puts
the issue in a context that one can understand and be comfortable in. For
instance, in my art my ability to see values is sometimes off and affects all my
drawings. Faulty lighting and flaws not fully ironed out are possible
causes. This has always been with me and still is. One morning
feeling the pain of this and of seeing it clearly outlined I opened myself up to
certain words and heard “Steve, as a child your development artistically was a
potpourri. To develop evenly and fully in the environment you were in is
asking too much. The teachers you sporadically had allowed you to do art
but also fragmented you. This was your art as it was. It was your
‘mix.’ Accept it. Today, don’t insist too much. The drawings fit
into a larger whole, a larger context. They are not always pretty but they serve
a purpose. You’re getting closure and personal questions answered, and for
others too. It is a good thing.”
Just upon hearing this I relaxed. Each issue springs to the
surface in time and there are answers that get us back on track. Wishful
thinking perhaps? One person’s delusions perhaps? But also perhaps
the real deal. This is the time to test, explore and find out. This
is one approach to try. As said "it's a good thing."