BG
On this path effort never goes to waste, and there is no failure. Even a little effort toward spiritual awareness will protect you from the greatest fear.
Bhagavad Gita
BG
I'd like to believe this
I need to believe this.
I do believe this.
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594.
BG On this path effort never goes to waste, and there is no failure. Even a little effort toward spiritual awareness will protect you from the greatest fear. Bhagavad Gita BG I'd like to believe this I need to believe this. I do believe this.
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439.
Spiritual living Fluctuating In one sense I feel God's touch on every move I make and there are lessons and meanings in each separate moment. In another sense there is chance and life often seems arbitrary and God is more like a friend than someone in full control. 426. Past
Spiritual living Daily recharge at times During certain periods of time, if in the right frame of mind, I have tried to go to God for advice. It seems to put me together. It's as if I have no memory and have to build myself from the bottom up every day. I have to recharge daily, reconcile where I'm at and review my direction and the “why.” 510 Past
Spiritual Comforting my friend (text) In a moment of need I cried out for a friend, a companion, an equal, who would be there for me. No one ever met this need. At this point I could not go through life alone. To my surprise, I felt an unseen presence that was close and supportive. It was not from this realm, nor was it amorphous, but had intelligence. It felt like a friend. There was understanding, but beneath this understanding I sensed sorrow. Why sorrow? At first I was puzzled but then it became clear. When existing in a timeless zone one does not know what it is to live within time, to experience its passing, to realize there is an end, to live with doubt. The closest to knowing this is through us and as a friend. Hence this presence felt like a friend and as a friend could get close and almost touch the experience. But as with everything in life and time, there is a price. This closeness allows for understanding us in an intimate way, be there with us, yet there is no vulnerability to what we are vulnerable to. As such, seeing us suffer causes suffering. Our laughs can be shared, our crying can be shared, but our termination here and our doubts can’t. And this causes pain, unspeakable pain. To watch someone you care for suffer and not to be able to do anything about it is not a good place to be. So, having experienced my portion of pain and suffering in this life, I offered comfort to this presence, this friend, who sees what I go through and who hurts from what is seen. But it enlarges me too, that is to comfort my new friend who hurts when seeing me hurt, and to say it’s ok, I’m ok, and that it will all be ok. 503. Past
Spiritual living Silent orders Pressure and overwhelming problems can make one immobile. The drill sergeant approach is one way to push through this, almost ordering one’s self to function. A few times, when too dangerously helpless for even this, I heard strong but silent orders dictating to me what I had to do, perhaps from another realm. 485. Past
Principles Spiritual principles Not able to face the day (This writing accompanies the pic and can be found in the booklet 'Breakthroughs') A configuration occurred that morning. Forces were at work that left me paralyzed. I could simply not move. Nothing was tragic. It was just an accumulation of things, from the large scale to the small scale. One problem led to two more with no end in sight, no solution seen, just more of the same. Any energy put forth got me nowhere, just like quicksand. So why even move, or budge. It was as if my fate was sealed, with no hope. So truly, why face the day? Usually something prompted me to get up, whether from just discipline, obligation, or just plain fear. But that day at that time I could do nothing. I could not rationalize, muscle, or push through the barrier. I could do nothing. I had to give up. Then, out of nowhere my body became infused with a light which tingled through my body. There was no theme to it, no explanation or reason for it. It was just the spark of life itself passing through me. Blood became oxygenated, oxygen was infused, muscles were revived, bones and ligaments fortified, the mind was sparked and awareness and wonder renewed. There was no agenda, no rhetoric attached to this. It was just life, and the force behind it, asserting itself into my being. And so I became able to face the day. 482.
Spiritual living Between Caught between what is precious and touching in this life and inching towards the spiritually unknown with no guarantees. 481.
Spiritual living How my soul felt When speaking to my elderly dad his tone was sweet enough but he could not fully hear me both literally and spiritually and my soul was left incomplete. When asking to help my friend offering to mop her floors volunteering precious time she was cavalier about my gesture and my soul was left incomplete. When I read about a man who moved to Argentina to live like a king eating and socializing as the Romans did I felt both envy and disgust and my soul was left incomplete. When invited to a downtown 'improv' event a chance to escape what I have to face the performance was playful and innocent contrasting with what is sex and money driven and still my soul was left incomplete. The day after my soul seemed to seep upwards as if in a sand timer but reversed and I gathered myself in this glass bubble viewing my life from a place of safety and for a time my soul felt complete. |
Steven B. Nussdorf records his lifelong search to find meaning outside of the normal channels. He uses writing, poetry, and drawing to document this effort.Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.
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