Brought to my knees
No knowledge, no way of living, no truth, no outlook, neither common sense nor self mastery, no, nothing has shielded me from being brought to my knees again and again. It is the one consistency throughout my life. I've had to accept it.
For years being humbled forced me to search for answers, looking everywhere, inside myself, outside myself, to my immediate environment, or to the outside world. The unconscious goal was to find a security, a truth, a way of seeing that once understood would give me some control and power over being “wiped out.” This has proven not to be possible. Even knowing the gems of existence or the wisdom of the ages or just how to live does not stop the anxiety, fear or turmoil from bringing me to my knees again and being at ground zero, a babe needing to be helped. This has always been with me no matter what I've done. I'm always brought to my knees again and again. It is the one true constant.