After giving it all
Years ago my friend Steve said, “Now you have to use everything you know.” That stuck with me. It was the final effort. For years, then, I worked on the final effort. Then it came to an end. I had nothing left to give to it.
After some time and space pressure was eased. Tentative exploration had to replace sheer determination. Gaps could not be filled with just anything. Care and consideration sifted what was allowed in.
Certain hints were given and new understanding was seeping in. It seemed to bring everything together. I had to be patient, though, and let it evolve into being so I could be reasonably sure it was meant to be. It had to withstand all my doubts and have enough merit and truth within it to justify the focus it would demand. I am willing, what else is there? But I am also cautious as experience has made me so.
It is also possible what lies is the future is more mundane, simple, pragmatic. Day to day life without bells and whistles might be more like it. There is peace and freedom in this too.
For now there is some pushing forward but not too forcibly as I await to see what unfolds.