19.


Questioning questioning God

I had a question, one of many, that was troubling me and I thought I'd try something 'unsophisticated,' I would ask God.

Two questions would get answered.  One about the problem itself.  The second, more basically, about the very idea of questioning.

In the past I've received hints in a wisp of a voice.  A still small voice is not unknown to me.  But now I desired a direct test.  That is what life is about, finding out how things work.  The object is not to demean God or irritate.  Rather, I seek to know how to live in this life, knowing there is a God but also feeling the weight of this life.

So I asked my question and the answer was so clear. I didn't hear words, but rather my understanding became clarified.

This is what I understood.  In this life we are in motion.  Everything is moving, nothing is still, and hence the landscape around us changes constantly.  New elements are introduced as some disappear.  Weather changes, people change and things change.  Change is motion.  There are rhythms to the movement while nothing is totally permanent.

In this environment there has to be a flow.  Black and white decisions projected into the future can mislead, for the future changes and is not known.  We can have inclinations, premonitions, and yearnings, but each decision depends entirely on the moment and is a leap into the unknown.

As such, a direct 'yes' or 'no' answer to a question freezes the movement and dynamics of life.  One doesn't shoot the ball knowing it will go in the basket. It is unknown until it happens.  Deciding beforehand it will go in is a presumption.  Or, if we take a photograph and project it onto the future, and say 'this is how things will be' we are imposing our will onto the future.  Moreso, life is more like a movie in motion, filming as we go.  True, we can ponder and question and approximate, but we can't insist.  As such, God helps us and prods us, but doesn't replace what is to be discovered in each special moment.

7.



Spiritual Living



With or without the presence

Assuming one accepts there is a God, one faces a quandary down the road.  If you relate and take part in silent exchange you share a special intimacy .  However, what happens if some things go wrong when you seemed to hear they should go right?  A crisis of belief follows along with self-doubt.

On the other hand going it alone might seem the way. You believe there is a God but also that we are here to make choices and live independently. You clearly know how to be calm and collected and manage for yourself.  So you do it.  But at some point in life you are tested to the core and  being on your own isn't enough.  Since you yourself aren't enough, where does help come from now? We're not talking neighbor to neighbor help, we're talking soul wrenching help.  You are in another quandary.  You thought you could do it alone and independently but you can't.

Which way is the right way, relating or independence?  It is an important and difficult question to answer.  The thinking person wrestles with this.