Relating to God
It was another morning of internal mayhem.....not panic, but just many things that had to be ordered in my mind. There were too many items to review. My mind reviewed each category.....some order was established, but not enough. I turned over in the blanket and waited for the light to peak through. No more sleep came. In the semi dark I tried to write down a title for my new painting.....my eyes couldn't even see what I wrote. I churned different titles in my head, obsessed over it. I then reviewed certain conversations I had the previous day. I found out my ex wife had no opinions on a title. There had been a call from a Peruvian friend who kept falling apart and I was drained by it. My skin had been itching like crazy. I wondered what was my gold doing? Were people period the cause of my stress? Should I call up Susanne and offer her my old vacuum cleaner or is that opening up a can of worms? I processed the actions of certain people until it was clear where they were coming from. Did my doctor get my note on root canals? The letter I read yesterday said a man self healed his teeth in some instances with Vit C and Magnesium and Oregonal drops. I've preserved a few teeth doing that too. Shame I lost many before I knew to try this. My thinking went on and on.
Oh what to do? How to begin this day? Then I heard the clear uplifting voice of God...clear to my mind. I was relieved. Things weren't so bad, weren't so confused. I wrote a good to-do list, probably a few days worth of to-dos. Then I plopped on the bed again. I heard the voice tell me tea wasn't the worse idea, and if I could I should choose slippery elm. I heard the day didn't have to be bad, that the painting was almost finished and I could work on the signature. Some of my writings meandered maybe but I could review them the next day. I could stay local and just walk outside and get some sun and be close. I could read the book on cayenne. It was relieving to hear the voice. I turned on the TV as a distraction and then got up and put up some hot water, shaving while it heated. My day had begun, helped by his voice in a nice way telling me how to begin. Some order came out of the chaos.