8.



Relating




A workable perspective

If you're facing a quandary, it might spiral out of control.  As you reach your threshold of pain, a workable perspective might pop in.  It might be you speaking to yourself, or from above.  I go with the latter, for the above dimension obviously has a bigger scope.

At that moment, at that time, the perspective seems workable.  It might not be a permanent solution, but it's good for the day.  It might move you further, but it also might slow you down in a good way.  Your plans might be meant to work out, or altered, or changed.  Or, once calmed down, a bigger vision might come to you.  At first, the workable perspective is likely, as it's most absorb-able  for your system.

There is also a deconstruction process taking place, particularly if you are older.  While you work to finish your work, part of you is becoming less focused, again in a good way.  You're in a sense merging into a larger picture, and the 'you' is becoming less.  Both are happening at the same time.

In my own life I was having trouble with the lighting on my drawings.  I don't have the tried and true harmonic north natural light.  East, west, south light are uneven and electric light causes your iris to contract, limiting what values you can see.  I did a little research on how older draftsmen dealt with the problem, then on some students I knew along the way.  Suddenly, this all led to a cycle of negative self condemnation.  I was pulled into a system of envy and competition.  I was being sucked into the paradigm of the world, like a trap.  Whatever information I was after wasn't worth the price I was paying.  At this point in life, no knowledge is worth giving up equilibrium and whatever inner peace I have.  Some sacrifice can be made, but one has to know one's limits and when to pull back.

To summarize the perspective I received on my art was that it was part of a statement, not pure art.  It was started and being done late in life not as an artist, but as a person searching for meaning.  It doesn't have to be on a grand scale to accomplish this.  Additionally, enough work that is reasonable has already been done.  I should just work and problem solve to create a system that is doable within my life.

This seems to be the core of what I heard, although I don't remember specifics.  Whatever came to me seemed calming and maybe just knowing this is enough.

As said there is a structure to going forward, and at the same time a phenomenon of letting go.  Hearing from above gave me momentary peace. The next day might bring another onslaught again necessitating the need  for a higher guiding perspective I can live with.

7.



Spiritual Living



With or without the presence

Assuming one accepts there is a God, one faces a quandary down the road.  If you relate and take part in silent exchange you share a special intimacy .  However, what happens if some things go wrong when you seemed to hear they should go right?  A crisis of belief follows along with self-doubt.

On the other hand going it alone might seem the way. You believe there is a God but also that we are here to make choices and live independently. You clearly know how to be calm and collected and manage for yourself.  So you do it.  But at some point in life you are tested to the core and  being on your own isn't enough.  Since you yourself aren't enough, where does help come from now? We're not talking neighbor to neighbor help, we're talking soul wrenching help.  You are in another quandary.  You thought you could do it alone and independently but you can't.

Which way is the right way, relating or independence?  It is an important and difficult question to answer.  The thinking person wrestles with this.

6.

Relating


The maker's withdrawal

Sometimes the maker communicates and then seems to withdraw for what seems like an eternity. The silent voice, the presence is nowhere to be found.  Perhaps we are supposed to ponder and go through a certain situation on our own.  In this way we see for ourselves' as opposed to hearing.  We understand better from this struggle what there is to understand. In such a dilemma the pain can be great, as if some deep and huge seismic shift is taking place within,  but once a solution appears it is humbly appreciated and authentic.