Spiritual
Separation
When all is said and done what really counts is my feeling of separation and
the answer to it.
For These Times |
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13.
Spiritual Separation When all is said and done what really counts is my feeling of separation and the answer to it.
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10. Relating The only opening In reading some of my old writings I wonder if am I making too much of myself? Would it be better just to live without enlarging the particulars of life, not making a big deal of things, just keeping some normality? Yet, there seems no other direction to move towards. It's almost the only opening. It is an ongoing path of realizing and becoming and occasionally seeming to hear "Steve, it's okay" when reaching a dead end. 8.
Relating A workable perspective If you're facing a quandary, it might spiral out of control. As you reach your threshold of pain, a workable perspective might pop in. It might be you speaking to yourself, or from above. I go with the latter, for the above dimension obviously has a bigger scope. At that moment, at that time, the perspective seems workable. It might not be a permanent solution, but it's good for the day. It might move you further, but it also might slow you down in a good way. Your plans might be meant to work out, or altered, or changed. Or, once calmed down, a bigger vision might come to you. At first, the workable perspective is likely, as it's most absorb-able for your system. There is also a deconstruction process taking place, particularly if you are older. While you work to finish your work, part of you is becoming less focused, again in a good way. You're in a sense merging into a larger picture, and the 'you' is becoming less. Both are happening at the same time. In my own life I was having trouble with the lighting on my drawings. I don't have the tried and true harmonic north natural light. East, west, south light are uneven and electric light causes your iris to contract, limiting what values you can see. I did a little research on how older draftsmen dealt with the problem, then on some students I knew along the way. Suddenly, this all led to a cycle of negative self condemnation. I was pulled into a system of envy and competition. I was being sucked into the paradigm of the world, like a trap. Whatever information I was after wasn't worth the price I was paying. At this point in life, no knowledge is worth giving up equilibrium and whatever inner peace I have. Some sacrifice can be made, but one has to know one's limits and when to pull back. To summarize the perspective I received on my art was that it was part of a statement, not pure art. It was started and being done late in life not as an artist, but as a person searching for meaning. It doesn't have to be on a grand scale to accomplish this. Additionally, enough work that is reasonable has already been done. I should just work and problem solve to create a system that is doable within my life. This seems to be the core of what I heard, although I don't remember specifics. Whatever came to me seemed calming and maybe just knowing this is enough. As said there is a structure to going forward, and at the same time a phenomenon of letting go. Hearing from above gave me momentary peace. The next day might bring another onslaught again necessitating the need for a higher guiding perspective I can live with. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
September 2019
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