18.

One reward for a long life

I had sent the Cohanan for his 98th birthday a print of a self portrait call “drawing myself.”  While it has some flaws technically it does in a way sum me up as a person.  He already had a print of it but the print and the frame were a mess despite someone's efforts to piece it together.

Well, yesterday the Cohanan called to thank me.  He said words can't describe how good it felt to receive this.  His first complement went to my packing skills.  For some reason my family considers this important.  I can't remember his words exactly but he basically said the drawing captures all of me.  He added he was proud that I was a productive individual who was expressing himself.  More was said but I can't remember exactly what.  For the most part I listened and took it in.

My late mom was a bit gushy at times and this eventually rubbed off on my father.  His nature was more reserved and less emotive and he could be cold and disappear on you.  Whatever its genesis at this time it was nice to hear these words and I just listened.  For years the family dynamics were complex, somehow poisoning even simple dialogue.  But now after all these years simple appreciation was offered and then received.  It is one reward for his living a long life.

3.

Carries through

My dad frequently reads the New York Times obituaries and last week he
spoke of the passing of Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, a spiritual leader of Israel's
Sephardic Jews.  Apparently he gained respect in mainstream Israel circles
for his wisdom and leadership all backed by thorough knowledge of the Torah and
Halakha (unfolding of Jewish law).  At one time, backed by the Halakha
principle of 'saving life comes above all else' he ruled in favor of Israel
conceding territories, but later became hawkish after the violence of the second
intifada in 2000.  But all this is not the real point.  I really
didn't have the patience to layout and understand the rulings and judgements of
the particular times and of the Rabbi's many opinions.  Still, often my
father would mail to me such obituaries and I found there was a comfort and
richness and connection with the past when reading them, this one included.

During a phone call I said to my dad it saddens me reading about such
men who spent a lifetime fighting for this or that principle and now these
principles and struggles are in the past and long gone and semi-forgotten, at
least by me taken up with my own concerns.  My father answered "they still
come through, what you need comes through, you still get and feel the spirit of
what they did.  It carries through.  There still is value."