Hurts and conflicts
I always thought the end of my family would be good. I don't know yet, but it might not be so. I thought my art could unify the family. It would be the umbrella uniting all activities. But it hasn't happened and I have to be a realist. We are 1200 miles apart and it's an expedient that we stay where we are. If they are hurting I can't help them. For instance my father broke his arm and I wasn't around to assist. It became clear I was not their back up. It hurts after all these years not to be able to help your parent. Part of me almost wants them gone so as not to be burdened by this guilt and part of me never wants them to go.