Theology, Religion, Spiritual
Relating to God
Falling asleep with the light on
Last night I was real tired around 9 pm. The morning had been spent doing chores, a lot of them, the afternoon into early evening spent drawing, and the night was to be spent editing. Before the latter I made myself a lobster tail with butter, herbs, and lime, along with a nice salad with cut apple on top, drank hot green tea with honey, and had a chocolate treat for desert. Not bad. I suspected it would make me tired early and sure enough about 3 hours later at 9pm I slowed down disappointed over just getting two pages done. I laid down in house clothes for a brief nap which expanded to 10:15pm, then 12:15 am, and finally to 3:15 am. Lamp shining in my face I turned and stirred at this magical time. My mind hopped from thought to thought without full resolution and I was left with an uneasiness and felt irritated. I sat up, placed my elbows on my legs with my head in my hands and felt the presence of the maker sitting near me as if putting his arm on my shoulders to support and comfort me. Surprisingly, I rejected his comfort and lay down and realized something. I wanted contentment and completeness to come from this life, not from god. I blamed him for this lack and so for the time being we're not on speaking terms.