189.  Past

Reason   

Suffering in this life 

I am writing to see if what I'm saying is received.  I am curious and in some spiritual way am experimenting.  If it is received I could possibly take confirmation in what I do. 

One of my tests has to do with suffering.  Some of us feel we have suffered more than our share and because of this wonder if there is some compensation?  Does suffering give one a special insight that, when added to an achievement, carries more weight?  If one suffered enough, is there a payoff.  Does great suffering lead to great purpose? Or is this just a romantic or idealistic concept?  It seems that when one suffers one questions and searches for answers, leading one to more depth in understanding.  On the other hand, suffering entails damage of some kind.  A vision, creative or spiritual, requires energy, vitality and craft, and all require some health. There might be a tipping point here, where a certain depth of suffering leads eventually to some kind of emergence. Overwhelming suffering and damage leads just to pure destruction, with no hope of emergence.  So suffering, to be effective in this life, has to be scaled into human proportions so it becomes the soil from which to emerge.

188.  Past


Observations


Can’t change your circumstances 

 
In the Hebrew Talmud (oral Torah) to paraphrase it states that one can't change the circumstances that you were born into, such as your parents, your environment, your situation.  The only thing one can control is one's attitude towards it all.

187.  Past

Principles

Art

Blurred categories   

I'm blurring categories perhaps.  Usually art is art, and the spiritual is the spiritual.  When mixed it's usually saccharine, too sweet, too forced.  Still, it's what I'm trying.  I’m using art to serve the spiritual.  I wonder if this is doable or just my machinations?  Most works in this vein don't seem to work.  Still, right or wrong, I have evolved to this point and it seems the only opening to the future.

186.  Past


Principles

Living

Raising hell  

My old oral surgeon Dr. Westine said he misses raising hell.  So a successful and respected dentist desires to raise hell.  I never really raised hell.  Always was preoccupied with getting through to the next step.  Sometimes my allergies held me back.   Being carefree to raise hell would have been a luxury.  So that Sunday had a silly movie on in the background.  There was sarcasm, laughing, joking and fun in this movie.  Had some good belly laughs and smiles during that movie.  It was a taste of “raising hell.”