Systems, patterns and understanding
Projects and projections
Somehow the word projects takes the pressure off of what I'm doing. It puts activities in a definable box. Right now I'm finishing up a project, a long term project. Two lesser projects follow.
Looking into the future I am of two minds. The first pushes me forward almost as far as I can go. Talents, energy, discipline are thrust outward into an unknown and claim territory as they expand. They become defined when their power decreases, either from external forces or internal weakening. In this state of mind, one never knows the end until the end. Where you end up is a mystery that unfolds. It's an adventure with no rest.
The second way seeks a definition, a role for what I'm doing, a category, supported by a routine held in place by parameters. Once they are defined and various requirements fulfilled, the question marks are answered. A deep breath can be taken. I can lay down the torch and see what comes my way. The advantage here is that there is resolution followed by relaxation. The disadvantage is that the breath and depth of where I can go is limited. I am saving part of myself and hence the potential is restricted.
I'll wait, I'll see, I'll be still, I'll make appeals above, I'll do my chores and handle the present and try to have the courage to not rush to know.