36. Past
Spirit
Belief and Doubt
I believe there is a maker but I doubt it all the time. Most ways of believing are of man’s making. It is hard to know if it is from you and from deep inside, or if it is just something you heard, learned, adopted or absorbed and therefore second hand. How does one really test this belief? One way is to distance oneself from it, and if the need returns, and a higher dimension enters your mind and consciousness, it’s a sign there really is an above. After going in other directions you are pulled back to an above. This is a reaffirming sign. Still even this can be deceptive. It might just be your need for a crutch. So you have to continue testing.
At the same time part of you can’t always test. You have to act as if there is a maker, even if you are not fully sure. One can act as if ‘there is’ and at the same time have doubts that ‘there is.’ It is possible to live in two worlds at once, belief and doubt, which is also a sign in and of itself. You can also act as if there isn't and see if you are pulled back to there is. And your quest goes on.